Thanks to my amazing colleague, D. Allison Lee and her Organize to Revitalize blog.  Here are some practical ways to make a difference for your ADD family.

http://dallisonlee.com/blog/2011/10/13/add-families-and-organizing/

The start of a new school year means everyone working together for their best year yet!  Each family member helping makes all the difference. Remember, Together We Achieve More!

• Start homework time at the same time for all your kids.  This way all the distractions of television, texting and more are all stopped simultaneously.
• Host your family meeting and create a community chart for your family.  Across the top are the days of the week, down the side are the family member’s names.  In the grid are the daily responsibilities of each person.  Post the chart in the kitchen where everyone can see it.
• Create partnerships to complete family responsibilities. Partner with unusual pairs, such as dad/daughter, mom/son and mix it up! That way everyone shares the job and the joy of kitchen cleaning, toilets and laundry.
• Have a “Power Hour” once a week for cleaning the whole house. Discuss what needs to be cleaned and what the finished job looks like. Then set the timer and go!
• Develop your core in your family team. Set aside times for family members to have one on one times for fun, such as date night for mom and dad or a special trip for a parent and child to share.
• Post a list of family fun for everyone including movies to rent, places to go eat, or family activities. These incentives help everyone do their best on their responsibilities.

What team activities work at your home?

Back to school means getting back into schedules, activities and getting to school on time.  It is hard to do, especially after summer.   One of the most important parts of back to school is getting back or getting going on good routines.  Routines are the consistent, every day ways of getting things done that make life easier.  Try out these routines this fall, starting them the third week of August, so that by the first day of school you are already in the groove. 

•  Have a set schedule for homework and other chores.  Designate a little time for down time, and then start on homework in the late afternoon. The later you start homework, the longer it takes.  Decide on what chores are done on what days and post a chart so everyone is on board with this plan. 
• Use power periods to get homework done. Instead of 2 hours straight, break your homework time into 15,30 or 45 minutes of work and 5 minutes of walking around, getting a drink,texting friends or taking a very short break. Your kids will be more efficient if they know that the homework needs to be done in 45 minutes.
• All kids and parents need planners and calendars.  Host a family meeting each week to write in on a month at a glance calendar what upcoming and regular events are going on. Include even the weekly activities, like ballet, football or other kids and parent activities.  You can use the google calendar or Cozi.com if you are a techie, and print the calendar to post too.  Kids bring their planners too to fill in so everyone is modeling and practicing how to use their planners.
• Set a bed time for the kids and parents.   Well rested kids do better in school. Well rested parents are more productive.  Set alarm clocks for everyone to get up and get going. 

Take a good look at the big picture and what you want this year to be for your family.  At your family meeting, have everyone talk about this and share.  Also think through over scheduling.  Be realistic about what your kids participate in and your commitment.  Being involved is a positive, but being over involved can cause stress and frustration.

Summer is that lazy, hazy time, when we really like to kick back! But this is a great time to get going with your family fun, something that may have been sidetracked during the school year.  Family fun can be simple, 50s style, easy activities. However, it takes making a plan to have this happen!

Gather your family together to brain storm what is most important to each person.  Family members need to each have one special activity for the summer.  Get out your calendar and write these in. Otherwise, summer will be over before you know it.  Not only are  you modeling great time management skills, you are making great summer family memories too!

Stumped on ideas for fun?  Here we go!

• Homemade ice cream
• Ice cream sundae party
• Board games
• Sprinklers galore
• Bike rides
• Popcorn and movie night
• Sleep under the stars
• Bake cookies
• Walk a nature trail
• Pick berries
• Grow a garden
• Volunteer at a thrift shop
• Bubbles
• Side walk chalk art

 All of these affordable ways to have fun take just a few minutes of preparation, but you will be thrilled you did!

Great websites for summer fun!

http://www.squidoo.com/kidssummeractivities

http://www.familiesonlinemagazine.com/teens/

Learning that you or your child has a new diagnosis can be scary.  Getting some background and tools empower you and your child.  Here is a short list of suggested resources for you to start your education. 

Websites

www.additudemag.com

www.chadd.org

www.adda-sr.org

http://letsgetfittofocus.com/

http://www.familieswithpurpose.com/

Blogs

http://www.additudemag.com/adhdblogs/

http://www.parenting.com/article/adhd-in-children

Books

Empowering Youth with ADD by Jodi Sleeper-Triplett

The Organized Student by Donna Goldberg

The Crumpled Paper that Was Due Last Week by Ana Homayoun 

 Journey Through ADDulthood by Sari Solden

Super Parenting for ADD: An Innovative Approach to Raising Your Distracted Child by Edward M. Hallowell M.D. and Peter S. Jensen

ADD and the College Student  or Understanding Girls with ADHD both by Patricia Quinn,MD

Attention Deficit Disorder: The Unfocused Mind in Children and Adults by Thomas E. Brown

Smart but Scattered: The Revolutionary “Executive Skills” Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential by Ped Dawson, EdD

What are your best resources?  Please share!

A mom and dad remarry, and it is not quite like the Brady Bunch!  The new American family comes together with kids, pets and way too much stuff!  There are a lot of emotions involved as well as a lot of personalities.  The job of creating a new space for the new family, as well as family cohesiveness, can be helped with the assistance of a Family Manager.

From the start, there is a lot of territory to cover.  The logistics of family stuff, such as laundry, dinner, kids coming and going, all add up to the same responsibilities as running a small company.  Having a new persective brings order to the home.  Mom and Dad can redefine the responsibilities with a clearer vision of how the family comes together.   A great family calendar and family meeting are a must! A command center for paper keeps control of mail, bills and other papers that come from school.  Setting up systems and routines bring order to the chaos. 

Blended families come with a lot of stuff.  There are two homes worth of goodies.  How will this new home bring together the best of each?  Every home is different in this respect and it is in respecting each other, the kids’ wishes, and good cooperation, that the new home evolves, especially in community spaces.  In addition, kids need their own space with their personal belongings to create buy in for the new family.    Kids’ personal spaces reflect who they are and invite them to be a part of the new family too.

It can be a struggle to get all these aspects into motion. Start with your family meeting and be consistent about hosting this weekly.  And add a communication time daily.  Keeping open to new ideas, from kids and adults, keeps the energy of your home positive. 

Make responsibilities visual.  Keep a family calendar posted in the kitchen with all different activities, from sports to church.  Keep posted the chores list, nightly dinner and the laundry schedule.  It helps everyone know what is the plan. 

Be consistent about your rules in your home. Even if your kids are in other homes during the week, what works for your family should be consistent for each kid and adult.  Everyone respects consistently enforced, simple boundaries. 

Get help when you need it.  Whether a family counselor or Family Manager Coach, be ready to include someone on the outside to help create order on the inside.  Helping everyone share their emotions and come together makes all the difference.

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.  ~Tenneva Jordan

Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love.  ~Mildred B. Vermont

 Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.  ~Lisa Alther

• Time together to chat over coffee or an adult beverage.
• Make dinner once a week for 4 weeks, and clean up after.
• Unload the dishwasher without being asked.
• Go room by room and pick up the trash, and place it out at the street on trash night.
• Five minute toy pick up each night.
• Watch a movie or go to a movie with Mom, a movie of her choice.
• Create a family chores chart for the dishes and laundry and hang it on the refrigerator.
• Plan a picnic with Mom and you make the PBJ.
• An afternoon of riding bikes and stopping for ice cream.
• Have Mom teach you how to cook a family recipe.
• Let Mom sleep in while you take the kids to the park.
• Vacuum and wash Mom’s car. 
• Attend church or temple with Mom.  
• Hire a housekeeper for big cleaning of your home.
• Send Mom on a Date Night with Dad.
• Write Mom a note and tuck it in her purse to take to work with her.
• Make Mom’s lunch for her all week. 
• Hire a professional organizer to organize with Mom.

Notice that none of these gifts is something that clutters up your home?  Take time this Mother’s Day to spent time with Mom, creating a lasting memory!

It was Friday night and my son called.  “Mom, do you have the skewers to roast marshmallows”?

Let me tell you about my family and one of our family traditions.  My son, in his thirties, married and 2 children, remembers when he and his sister were in elementary and middle school, we would roast marshmallows in the fireplace.  We had special skewers we used for our roasting.  My son wanted to use these with his family for their first marshmallow roast in their new home.

Back to the request! In the kitchen, in the barbeque spot, were the roasting skewers.  He came, took the skewers to their new home, and their family continued our family tradition.

What is most important to me is creating and preserving family traditions.  Whether it is sitting down to a family meal together, or having cream puffs every Christmas, this is my priority.  Having the “stuff” that connects to the meaning of these traditions makes it easy for me to make decisions on what to keep. 

I recently decluttered in the kitchen. Letting go of the skewers never came to mind.  I did bless others with a soup tureen (wedding gift, never used in 27 years), coffee cups (from my mom, but seldom used), bread baskets (we already have plenty) and extra utensils not used.   The skewers are in a seldom used spot, but one I could easily access. 

Always, I want to encourage you to prioritize what matters most to you.  It is vital to how you live your best life, making good decisions about what is around you and how you use your time.  Begin by reflecting and creating awareness, then write down your priorities to have clarity throughout the year.  Take baby steps to stay on track with this priority whether by letting go and blessing others with things that are not used, or clarifying your commitments.

What are your priorities? What are your really important family moments?

 For some of us, creating routines is natural and comfortable.  We love repetition and the sameness of routine.  However, some of us like spontaneity and the excitement of new and fresh!  Can there be a balance or a way to merge these two ideas?  With the challenges of ADHD, often there is a big void of routines.  It is unnatural and uncomfortable.   However, a few important small routines can make a difference.

• Start with an awareness of how routines can make a difference for you. If you have ADD or ADHD,  think about how whether having one day established for a certain task might be helpful?  The time does not have to be rigid, but it should be compelling.   I suggest having one hour of administrative time once a week to catch up with tedious, required tasks.  Having a routine set for admin time, such as Sunday afternoon between nap and dinner, make certain that paper is acted on. A routine might be something that happens daily or weekly.  Laundry days can be every day in the morning or every Monday and Thursday. 
• Add on one simple, small step to an existing routine.  If you are already successful at a task, add on a related task as the next step in your routine.   It can be simply empty the trash in your car each time you get gas.  Toss the junk mail right after you put the kids to bed. 
• Add a partner to get a task finished.  You and your kids, spouse, or friend can fold and put away clothes, clean up the kitchen, or file and chat.   
• Give yourself permission and time to do a routine well.  If bill paying is the priority, that is all you need to accomplish in one day.   It is okay to accomplish one big job in a day.   
• Use a checklist to successfully begin a new routine.  Your checklist will prompt you visually with the steps in  your routine and you won’t have to rely on working memory. Your checklist will ensure completion too!  A checklist can be used at the beginning or end of the day and placed in a spot where you will see it regularly. 
• Don’t give up a routine easily.  It takes at least 3 weeks and up to 6 weeks to get a routine established.  Have tenacity and a compelling reason to keep your routine going. 

What are routines that work well for you?  What is your “secret?”

One of my personal priorities is getting dinner done.  It is a great time for communication, cooperation and role modeling for our families.  It all starts with setting a time for your family to gather and getting dinner on the table.  There are several short cuts that can help. 

Planning dinner

Having  a plan is the biggest part of getting dinner done.   The success factor for dinner means you have a plan that works for you.   Gather your family together for your family meeting and brainstorm 10 meals everyone will eat.  These can be very simple, including dinner for breakfast, sandwiches or simple assembly with pre-cooked ingredients.   Moms sometimes like to throw in “surprise night” so that you have the opportunity once a week to be creative. 

My colleague Susan Heid recently added her own cookbook for sale. With the discount code of CP20, you can purchase it online at her website.   Susan includes making your lists and conversation starters too! 

 http://www.theconfidentmom.com/mom-resources/got-dinner-quick-easy-recipes-from-the-confident-mom/

Susan enthusiastically wears the hat of mom, step-mom and foster mom to 4 awesome kids – ages 18, 14, 10 and 14 months; is married to her very own prince charming, loves coffee, cloudy days, and does think the bluest skies you’ve ever seen are in Seattle. You can find her at her other day job, The Confident Mom and get a FREE copy of her popular eBook “Getting Kids to Cooperate and Become Team Players.”

Online resources for creativity include www.e-mealz.com and www.thescramble.com.  All of these boost your meal planning organization in different ways.  Choose what works for you to get the plan going!

One amazing way to make your family and husband VERY happy is to post the meals of the week! You will receive not only amazing compliments, lots of hugs too!

Planning shopping

One of the trickiest shopping is for groceries.  Everyone’s ideal is different, but most agree that have a way to capture the list, and getting to the store regularly, make for the easiest organization. You can google your store and print out the list of groceries by aisle and keep this on a clipboard near the pantry.  Having two days that are the “regular” shopping days make sure there is always milk in your home. 

Planning cooking

At 4:30 your kids become aliens who were raised by wolves! Having a plan on when to cook is the last step in dinner planning.  You can set aside time on Sunday to double batch, you can start your dinner early in the crock pot before you leave for work, or  you can entertain your kids in the kitchen with you while cooking dinner.  You can mix it up with partnering, where you and one child cook one night, and your partner and another child do the dishes that night.  Delegating and cooperating are fun parts to cooking dinner and everyone can have a job.   All of these are great ways to have preparation time.  Know what works for you and set up your time accordingly.   For me, even without kids at my feet, I love to cook on Sundays and adore my crock pot!  My husband and I share the clean up responsibilities too. 

What are your best ways to get dinner done?