Let Them: The Organizing Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Have you stood in the middle of a messy room wondering why no one else in your family seems to care? In every family, at least one member of the group feels this way.  With all the tidying and sorting, labeling, and putting away, there are still jackets tossed on the floor and dishes left in the sink. It’s frustrating and discouraging. However, what if the key to peace in your organizing journey isn’t about getting others to change—but simply letting them be?

This is where Mel Robbins’ powerful idea comes in: Let them.

Does it feel like you are giving up? Let them be messy? Let them ignore the system you carefully set up? Let them leave laundry on the floor? You are making choices to make your own decisions,  set boundaries, and apply your own values.

What Does Let Them Mean in Organizing?

The Let Them Theory, popularized by Mel Robbins, suggests that trying to control or change other people’s actions, thoughts, or reactions leads to unnecessary stress and is not necessarily successful in creating change in others. Instead, the theory encourages you to focus on your own decisions, reactions, and the boundaries you set.  Mel Robbins shares the idea that when people do things that bother us like show up late, fail to help, or ignore our advice, you can choose to stop chasing, controlling, or convincing. Instead, you let them. And then you decide what you want to do next.

 

Let Them Theory, your home and your organizing

In organizing, Let Them doesn’t mean we stop caring. The Let Them theory helps you release control and focus on your own values.

  • Let them leave their shoes in the hallway or dishes in the sink. You don’t have to pick them up every time. You can remind, or you can let the natural consequence happen. You no longer have to carry the emotional and mental load for everyone else.
  • Let them resist the new system. You labeled bins and created a color-coded calendar. However if your spouse or kids don’t jump in with enthusiasm, let them. Give it time. Keep modeling it. Your consistency might be more influential than any nagging ever could be.
  • Let them struggle with clutter. It’s hard to watch someone live with too much stuff and live in chaos. Addressing change before they’re ready doesn’t move others forward. You can offer support, resources, and inspiration. But the choice has to be theirs. Let them come to it in their own time.

 

Let me organize

By reclaiming your energy, you can continue to be a role model and supporter for those around you. By having less frustration around organizing, you can redirect your energy to focus back to what you can control which are your systems, your spaces, and your mindset. You choose how to respond with calm, clarity, and boundaries that protect your peace.

  • When applying this to your home, it means accepting that others may not always follow your organization standards. You might not be able to get everyone to put their shoes away or fold their laundry, but you can still create a functional and enjoyable living space for yourself. 
  • While you might not be able to change others’ habits, you can set boundaries and communicate them clearly. For example, you can designate areas as off-limits for certain items or have clear expectations about how shared spaces should be used. 
  • If your family is not cooperative with tidying up, you can choose to focus on organizing your own personal space, rather than trying to control everyone else’s behavior. You can also set boundaries, such as designating certain areas as off-limits for clutter or enforcing rules about where certain items should be stored. 

 

By embracing the “Let Them” mindset in your home, you can reduce stress, improve your relationships, and create a space that truly feels like your own. 

 

2 replies
  1. Linda Samuels
    Linda Samuels says:

    I love the idea of applying the “Let Them” concept to the organizational stresses that often happen within a household.

    This reminds me of how we handled different organizational preferences when raising our kiddos. Each person’s comfort level with order and clutter varied. We set up respect and boundary rules to reflect this. In each person’s ‘personal’ spaces, they could keep things exactly as they wanted. However, in shared spaces, we created ‘respect rules’ where everyone had to be more conscious of what was OK or not.

    For me, that meant letting go of some expectations and being more intentional about others. It involved a lot of letting go on my part, which was a valuable lesson to learn.

  2. Ellen
    Ellen says:

    Thank you for sharing that story! It is true that clarifying the “respect rules” together gives everyone more buy in and also releases us from being in charge of all things organizing.

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