How to graciously and gratefully accept gifts

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unwanted gifts

 

 

It’s that lime green sweater your mother in law gave you this Christmas. It’s the wedding gift you have not opened after 30 years of marriage. It’s the purple purse your husband purchased for your birthday. For those awful items, do you use it, display it or regift it? It’s all these gifts that keep you wondering what to do when gifts have been given in the true spirit of giving. How do we graciously and gratefully accept gifts,especially if it’s a matter of “what were they thinking”?

Authentic gratitude

Be sure we have been graciously grateful .  A hug, thoughtful note, email or phone call can be the best way to be sure you have shared with the giver your appreciation.

Letting go

It’s a matter of time. Some gifts can be easily given away as donations to charity. There can be returns to the store with a receipt. Little by little you can start to let go of stuff. There is no dishonor in not keeping a gift as long as your gratitude has been conveyed.

Keeping gifts

There are many reasons to keep the most unwanted gifts. Gifts given can be harder to let go of if the family member is deceased. Clients of mine have chosen to keep gifts as keepsakes long after the function and value of the gift has declined. An item can bring a smile to your face or a warm memory. When you find an item that is especially meaningful, be sure to keep it in a place you honor it.

 

Setting the expectation

Communicate what’s really important to you as you approach a birthday, big event or holiday. It’s not easy to do. Some people will still want to share gifts. Be authentic to who you are about stuff. Be authentic about your gratitude about the gift and why you are not accepting gifts. It’s not an easy conversation and it can start with a gracious thank you first to ensure that the giver knows how much you appreciate the thoughtfulness.

 

It’s a perspective of practicality, functionality and sentimentality. Give yourself permission to do what is best for you keeping in mind gratitude and gracious living.  In the case of “what were they thinking?”, think about the big picture and gratitude.

gifts

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10 Common Mistakes when Organizing

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common organizing mistakes

 

 

Even with the best of intention and efforts, your organizing may not be making a difference. You may have tried many times to get organized, but for some reason your home is cluttered.  It may be that one of these common organizing mistakes is a problem.  Check out these solutions for common organizing mistakes.

 

Plan your work and work your plan

Too often we jump into organizing and find we have made a bigger mess.  Take a few minutes to think about what you would like your organization to look like, what you need most, and what routines will keep it organized.  A little pre-planning makes all the difference.

 

More bins = more organized

It’s not about having more storage. It’s not about having the right bins.  Hold off from buying bins until you have worked through and decluttered your space. Then you are ready to decide on storage options.

 

Difficulty decluttering

We start decluttering, get everything in a bag, and it stays at your entry or in  your car for weeks.  Make decluttering easy with an easy way to drop off your donations.  Have a donation bag set up in your home for regular drop offs.  The easier it is, the more you will donate.

Zig zag organizing

You start in one space and realize you need to bring stuff to another room.  You head there and – oops – that space needs work too. Labeled as zig zap organizing, you will see the most success if you remain in and worn on only one space at a time.  Place the stuff at the door with a post it note on it.

 

Too much coming in

Even the most organized home suffers when more and more is brought in to the space.  Start an awareness of how much you purchase, why and when you purchase items.  By creating a barrier to more stuff, you are able to establish organizing systems and routines.

 

Label, label, label

It can be surprising how much labeling a space makes a difference. Everyone knows where items belong and can put them away.   Labeling keeps you organized.

 

Daily distribution

It’s easy to stash and dash. That’s when you get a new item but regretfully never put it away.  Set up a daily distribution time to reset your personal and family organizing, put items away and put away the bags they came in.

 

Paper, paper everywhere

Keep your paper together. It sounds overwhelming, but keeping it in one spot helps you sort, recycle and keep the important papers. When paper gets spread out, all of a sudden it’s everywhere.  Create one designated spot for mail to come to and sort.  Triage it daily and work on your papers weekly.

Keep it all, just in case

We don’t know what paper we might need to we keep it.  We think we might use something, and we keep it just in case.  It’s time to make a decision and decide what to eliminate.  Basic questions to ask are these.   When will I use it again? Do I have another good one?  Would I purchase this again today?  Don’t let indecision keep you from being organized.

 

Team up

Organizing is hard work! Don’t go it alone!  Gather up a team, whether it’s your family, church members, office colleagues or hired help. When  you work together you make more progress and have fun too.

 

Are you struggling with getting organized? Post your question or problem here for a solution.

 

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Motivation for Organization

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motivation and organization

 

Some times the hardest part of getting organized is getting started.  Having a compelling motivation makes all the difference!

  • Start with the end in mind.    Start with a beautiful picture of what you want your space to look like.  Have a visual in mind of what your end results to look like.  Cut pictures out of magazines, search websites or blogs, or go to online organizing stores to see a picture perfect result.

 

  • Ready, set, go! Set a kitchen timer for 15 minutes.  We can all do something for just 15 minutes. Once you are started, you are likely to get in the groove and work longer on your organizing.

 

  • Baby steps, please.  Start with something small.  Remember, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Knowing that you can accomplish your organizing in baby steps makes a difference.

 

  • Plan a party.  Inviting company into your home to celebrate makes you want to get your homes organized.   It is scary but you can do it!

 

  • Partner up!  Include a clutter buddy in your organizing plans.   Having a trusted partner who works along side you or just sits while you work helps get you started on organizing.

 

  • Walk the walk, talk the talk.  Be a role model for your family.  Our children look to us to show them how to organize and why it is important to be organized.  It’s pressure, but it works.

 

  • What’s holding you back?  Acknowledge obstacles to organizing.  Once we clear our minds of what might hold us back, you are ready to push forward on organizing.

 

  • Acknowledge your successes in organizing.  Often we look at what is not done. Rather, give yourself a pat on the back, and a reward, for what you have accomplished.

 

  • Use your anxiety to push you forward.  Chaos causes stress!  Set a boundary on your disorganization and get started knowing you will have peace of mind once you are organized.  It’s that old adage of what’s most frustrating is what’s most motivating.

 

  • Know what’s good enough for now.  Our colleague Donna Smallin says “done is perfect.”  Put aside perfectionism which can paralyze you.   Perfectionists are overwhelmed with how long the task will take and how much energy will be used.  Create a simple plan to get your organizing started and completed.

 

What compelling reason have you used to get started on your organizing?

Declutter with these 6 Smart Strategies

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declutter

 

 

The change of seasons calls us to do some decluttering. With this change around us outdoors, we feel inspired to make change indoors.  There are many strategies that can help you declutter.  Try one of these 6 smart strategies to declutter your space at home or work.

 

Tournament Method

The Tournament Method helps those who are especially overwhelmed. Just like in any sport, compare two items and one “wins.”  Keep the winner and pit it against another “competitor.”  Soon you will have eliminated almost half of your items.  If you want to keep your decluttering simple, the Tournament Method works well.

 

Treasure hunt

Rather than decide about what to give away, decide what is a treasure to keep.  A treasure hunt strategy keeps you positive and pro-active.  When sifting through a large box, dig for treasures only.  The rest is decluttered and given away. The Treasure Hunt method works well if you tend to lose focus when you are decluttering.

 

FlyLady Method

FlyLady has been a staple for many to help start decluttering.  Her strategy relies on small, fun tasks that break your decluttering into bite size efforts.  Establishing small routines makes your decluttering happen. One of my favorite routines is the 27 fling boogie.  You grab a garbage bag and eliminate 27 items at a time.  If you are a person who is looking for decluttering routines, Fly Lady’s method work help you make changes.

 

#MinsGame

Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus write the blog, The Minimalists.  Their game came from their new perspective on stuff and minimalism.  The game starts on the first day of the month. On day 1, you eliminate 1 item. On day 2, you eliminate 2 items. And so it goes.  It’s a great way to make a game of your decluttering.  Challenge others in your circle to play too.

 

Keep the End in Mind

Organizing guru Peter Walsh  reminds us to Keep the End in Mind. Create a vision of what your space will look like decluttered. Permit only what will work with that vision to remain.  Use a vision board, pinterest, or a magazine to help you stay focused on your goal.  Knowing what you want your space to look like when completed helps you make decisions on decluttering.

 

Konmari Method

Recently Marie Kondo, best selling author of The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, created the Konmari method to declutter.  Her mantra about the items we own is, “does this spark joy?” Keep only what brings a smile to your face.  Does everything have to bring you joy?  For Ms Kondo the answer is “yes!”  Surrounding yourself with only what is fabulous is definitely life changing.  Learn more about the Konmari method here.

 

No matter the method, get started on  your decluttering today!  Your changes in your space will bring about changes in your daily attitude, stress and positivity.

 

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Resilience and Organizing

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resilience and organizing

 

 

 

Resilience is the ability to bounce back, overcome obstacles, work through a problem, get back on your horse.

 

Fall down seven times………. get up eight.

 

There are times we feel that we can’t just get up that last time. That’s when resilience comes into play.  We have all experienced that feeling.  It’s a powerful combination of tenacity, flexibility, and resourcefulness.

 

We can build resilience.  By creating structure for your time, making connections with others, and  keeping an optimistic and hopeful perspective are all contributors to resilience.

 

Structure for your day should include taking good care of yourself. This way you have the physical ability to bounce back. This includes a good bedtime to get a good night’s rest, proper nutrition including lean protein,  and moderate exercise regularly.

 

Staying connected to others is important. The vitality of others makes you more energized too!  Ask for help when you are finding solutions to work through a problem and gather resources that will make that decision easier.  Be one to offer help and be about others in working to better the world around you, such as by volunteering or small acts of kindness.

 

Your perspective can make the biggest difference! In a recent speaking engagement, several audience members came up and mentioned that they realized they are MORE organized than they thought!  Optimism and positivity spring from gratitude. Find small ways you are grateful daily, whether it is writing in a journal or reviewing this mentally as you drive around town.  Joy and happiness can come from the smallest of moments, whether seeing a beautiful sun rise, smelling a fresh flower, spending time with a friend, or sitting quietly.  Bundle all of this together and out springs hope! That is when resiliency blooms!

 

Resilience is not only a matter of perspective, it’s also a matter of organizational strengths.  Having strong organizing skills makes it easier for you to be resilient.

 

If you are facing an obstacle  whether it’s organizing or not, what are your steps toward overcoming it and being resilient?

 

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6 Organizing Survival Strategies

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organizing survival strategies

 

 

Organizing can make the difference whether your survive or thrive.  You’ve lost your keys, you’ve lost a check and you have lost your mind!  The more you have going on, the more important organizing can be.  Organizing helps you feel and look put together.  Here are 6 baby steps for organizing to help you go from surviving to thriving.

  • Start with your own organizing first.  It’s easy to see where everyone around you is pulling you down.  It’s that old adage, “put your own oxygen mask on first.”  Your purse is a perfect first step to organizing.  Take stock of what is in there, declutter the junk, create categories with small clear zipper pouches for medicine, makeup, money and receipts.  Empty and refresh your purse weekly.   Apply this same process to your closet and your calendar. 

 

  • Have one spot where all the very important papers go.  The most important papers can be in a basket or box in the office, in an accordion file or in a file bin.  Whatever container your choose, you can group papers together in files or clear pockets.  No more worry about where important papers are and easy to access this way too!

 

  • Edit your closet to keep only what you would buy and wear today.  Items that are too big, too small, too scratchy, or not your style, need to be dropped off at a donation spot or consignment.  If you can go into your closet and choose an item to wear right away,  you will save time and energy.

 

  • Declutter your calendar.  If you are running between activities, don’t have time to put away groceries or other purchases, arrive late at most meetings or church, it’s time to prioritize your commitments.  Take one thing off your plate for 6 months and assess at the end of that time how you felt and how you operated.

 

  • Routines make the difference for daily life.  Set routines for doing the laundry, getting dinner done and heading to the grocery store.  When you have assigned times to these basic tasks, life runs smoother.

 

  • Gather a team to help.  We can’t do it all and we can’t do all of it all the time.  Gather resources to help you get things done.  You know it’s time to use your resources when things get really stressful for you. Use your partners and team members to delegate and make things happen.

 

  • BONUS! Plan your perfectionism.  What holds you back most and creates procrastination is that feeling of having to “do it all perfectly or not at all.”   Create a new mantra of “good enough for now” to push past and get started on your organizing.

Not enough tips still? Check out these habits of organized people.

 

You don’t have to apply all these tips all at once. Just start with one way to make your life more organized.

 

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3 Tips from Tidying Up

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3 Tips for Tidying Up Konmari ++

 

Is it surprising that a tiny book about the art of decluttering and organizing is on the New York Times best seller list for weeks?  Vogue, Good Housekeeping and the Today Show have tested Ms. Marie Kondo’s Konmari method.  It’s a topic and technique that has merit.  The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up is a best-selling guide to decluttering your home from Japanese cleaning consultant Marie Kondo.  Three tips stand out for me in this tiny “how to” guide.

 

Organize by category

 

It’s hard to know where to start your organizing.  Using the Konmari method, start your work by category.  A category can be a group of items  that are alike or used together.  In a disorganized space, it’s often the case that most categories are not grouped together.   There may be more than one spot for school supplies, clothes, gift wrap or any group.  You may have purchased items and these did not get put away or placed with similar items. Organizing by category works well.  When you see all your items together, it’s easier to make decisions on what to discard.  You know what you have and how many  you have of an item.  Once your category is organized,  you must find a specific spot to place it as a group.

“Tidying by category works like magic.”

 

Finish discarding first

Decluttering is always the first step in organizing.   Once an item has lost value or function, it’s time to let it go.  Often we think if we have better storage, if items were rearranged to fit better in a space, or we had more containers, we would be more organized.  With the Konmari method, you are assessing and processing in order to release items.  Ms Kondo asserts that this processing and dialogue is an inner conversation that focuses on what is important to you rather than others.

“To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.” 

 

Keep what sparks joy

The Konmari method helps us choose what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of.  Ms Kondo’s question is “does this spark joy?”  The essence of each item in your home should bring a smile.  Many items in your home are good, but are they good for you? It’s a lot to ask to have every item in your home bring you joy, but all your clothes and shoes certainly should.  By releasing the items that we associate with guilt, shame or obligation, we are freeing ourselves to live our best life.

“Keep only those things that speak to your heart.”

 

The Konmari method helps you live your best life after putting your house in order.  It’s simple effective strategies can transform your home and your life like magic!

 

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Back to School and Back to Routines for Everyone

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back to school and back to routines

Classes have already started in many places and around Houston.  Football season is around the corner.  Knowing its time to get back to routines is part of the end of Summer and the beginning of Fall.  Our routines may have faltered during the hot Summer, but these tried and true routines make a difference in easing our stress.   Back to school means back to routines for moms, dads and everyone!

Your Bedtime

It’s easy to get to bed later and later during the Summer.  It stays light late and it is hard to wind down. Get started getting ready for bed earlier so you can get a great night’s rest. Most of us truly need 8 hours of sleep a night to do our best.

 

Your Lists

There seems to be much more on our plate during this time of year. Make it easy with making lists. It takes a lot to keep remembering all that we need to do.  Your list can be digital or paper.  Write stuff down and then prioritize for the day.

 

Organize and take stock

Stuff may get a little chaotic during the Summer.  All of a sudden your closet, your supplies and your pantry are disorganized.  Take a little time during August to get them back to their regular order.  If you have clothes you have not worn all Summer, it’s time to donate them.  Gather your office supplies together.  Do you have  a good routine for putting back your supplies? Simplify your access to items if you have trouble. Straighten items and review what is in your pantry. Create a checklist on paper or with an app to make shopping easier. Just giving each of these areas a little attention will make each day easier.

 

Your Planner

Summer fun is often spontaneous, but Fall has lots and lots of activities coming up.  Get back to the routine of entering dates in your planner as soon as you know them.  Enter all dates from the school calendar, sports calendars, church calendars and any other activities onto your planner so these are all consolidated.  Having all the dates in one spot makes it easy to see and know what is coming up.

 

Check out my Back to School board on pinterest for other Back to School ideas.

Top 5 Clutter Questions Answered

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clutter questions

 

Many of us face the same clutter challenges.  Questions like what to keep, how to keep it and how to get started organizing are some of the most frequently asked questions.  These solutions can be simple ways to start decluttering and organizing your space.  Check out these clutter questions and see if there is an answer for you here.

 

I don’t know where to start organizing.

You see clutter in many different spots in your home. You may wonder what’s the best place to start organizing.   I suggest starting in one of these two ways.

  • Start with what’s most frustrating.  When you are frustrated, you are ready to make change happen.  You are ready to let go of items and donate them.   What’s most frustrating is most motivating.
  • Start with a small space. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by organizing. By starting in small space,  you are see the change you are creating. You can finish a project quickly because it takes only an hour or two to complete.

Any space you start in is a great space! Start with just 15 minutes at a time and you will be amazed at how much you accomplish.

 

I never have enough time to organize.

Our lives are busy and full. It’s not always a top priority to organize and other activities take priority.  There will seldom be a time we are truly ready to organize or have the time we want to do it all.

  • Make an appointment with yourself (and those helping you) to organize.  It can be as compelling as any appointment you make with a doctor, dentist or any professional. Your appointment will prevent other activities from being scheduled at the same time. Write in your calendar the time you will work.
  • Work in baby steps.  We often think organizing will take longer than we think. It fuels our procrastination.  By working in 15 minute increments, with a timer, you can make a lot of progress.

Make organizing a higher priority by thinking about your benefits. When you think about how your home or office will feel when you are organized, you will be more likely to get started organizing.

 

It’s not my clutter.

We’re not always partnered with those who view clutter the same way we do.   However, we know that all relationships work best with respect and communication.  Share and listen.  Your family will want to make their home a serene environment. Set up small ways that organizing can happen on a regular basis.  Most importantly, start with your own stuff first.  When you model organizing, your family will follow your lead.

 

What about “just in case?”

We live in a world of vulnerability and unpredictability. It’s in our natural to want to keep more than we need as a result.  There are a few antidotes to this thinking.

  • The Minimalist share their theory of 20/20.  Anything you can replace for 20 dollars or go out of your way 20 minutes to get can be eliminated.
  • Anything you have not used in a certain number of years can be eliminated.  You set that number of years.  You may have to use it in the next 6 months, but it is worthy of storing as a result?  You be the judge of which is more valuable to you.  A little inconvenience or more added space.
  • Share your story of why you are keeping an item. Does it make sense as you tell someone else?

Just in case keeps us paralyzed.  Check in with new perspectives to see if you are ready to let it go.

 

It’s a gift from someone special.

Unused wedding gifts, sweaters from sister’s that are too small, or a collection from a deceased family member can have a strong hold on us.  Sentimental clutter is hard to let go of.  Decide if it is something you love first.  If not, let it go and let others be blessed by it.  If it is, then here are more options.  Is it an item that you can take a picture of to remember it, instead of keeping the item? Write a journal or blog post about why it’s special.  Keep a few of the most precious items and sell the remainder.  There are many ways to move forward with special gifts that have lost value for us.

 

There are lots of decisions to make in organizing. There are lots of resources to use to help you. Check out my pinterest boards to find answers to your organizing questions.   Join my monthly newsletter for more answers too.

ADHD, Decision making and Organizing

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ADHD Decision making and Organizing

 

Decision making is the first step in all organizing projects. And when those decisions become overwhelming is when we become paralyzed.  For ADHD and executive function challenges, decision making can halt organizing progress.  There’s a definite connection between ADHD, decision making and organizing.

 

Too many decisions

It’s overwhelming to think about the number of decisions we make in a day.  Research reveals that when we make decision after decision, we become frustrated, angry or anxious.  Each day we are make decisions about literally thousands of questions or crossroads.  When it comes to decision making, think about limiting choices.  Keep it simple like just 3 -5 options, rather than ten or more.

 

  • When you begin organizing, make decision making simple and easy.  Start with decisions to let go of things that are easy to part with, you have not used or seen in a long time, or without hesitation know your decision.

 

  • When it comes to the stuff in your life, one question can be all you need.  Make decision making easy with one big question to answer: does this make me look or feel fabulous?  If the answer is no, off it goes.

 

  • Use the tournament method.  Compare two items, pick the best.  Use the “winner”  and compare with another item, pick the best.  You can divide items into four piles and use the tournament method too.

 

 Good decisions start with wellness

It’s not surprising how much rest and nutrition play a role in good decision making.  Research shows that a good night’s sleep makes for better decision making, improved retention of information and a better outcome.

 

  • Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night. Not only will you feel better on all fronts, it’s easy to make decisions and be productive. Start with an earlier than expected prep time for bedtime. It’s easy to get in bed when you are ready.

 

 

  • Keep protein handy.  We can’t make good decisions with just snacks.  Eating protein regularly helps us think clearly.

 

 

 Resources for decision making

We know we don’t know it all.  But that’s not a problem! We have trust resources to help make decisions.   Our resources include an array of options, including our friends, professionals and the internet.  Build competence and confidence with your resources.

 

  • Start with your easiest way of finding information.  Phone or text a friend or look online are the simplest first steps.  Reading a book or blog can help you find the information you need.  Add in a clutter buddy or paper partner.  They are your trusted friend for decision making; your go to resource for no matter what the question is.  Decide on what’s easiest for you.

 

  • Take the emotion out of your decision.  Think about the decision as if you were making it for someone else.  Take a deep breath, do 10 jumping jacks, call a friend and share why this is so hard.  Ask yourself what’s the worst thing that can happen if this decision is not right.  Then get back to that decision.  It’s often not the decision at all that is hard but an emotion associated with it.

 

  • Ask for help.  It’s hard to accept ask for or accept help.  But a partnership can make all the difference.  Ask for help when you find yourself lacking a skill, not sure of how to manage technology or to speed the project along.  Remember that in doubling up with a partner you have more brain and brawn to find solutions.

 

We all get stuck sometime.  Find ways to help yourself with decision making whether it’s paring down, wellness, or resources to make decisions happen.

 

More resources  on my ADD/ADHD pinterest board.

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