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Back to School Rules for your ADHD Family

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back to school rules

 

The nightly homework battle starts as soon as school opens.  It’s a daily chore to keep up with papers for both parents and kids. There’s too much to do, not enough time, and not enough rest.  The unending cycle of tension and anxiety takes  a toll quickly for families.  Here’s back to school rules for your ADHD family that can help your school year run smoother.

 

Back to school successful systems

Set up stations in your home which as dedicated to what’s important.  A specific “home” for items keeps them easy to access and keeps your home uncluttered.

  • Have a landing spot near the door for charging devices, hanging keys, and hosting backpacks.  This is where all these items go at the beginning and end of the day.
  • Create a command center, which is an action spot for papers.  A simple command center includes either wall pockets, a desk top sorter or baskets for papers. Kids drop papers here and it’s where the mail goes.
  • Centralize school and office supplies.  Pull all the supplies together and see what you have.  Now it’s time to go shopping!  Contain and label the supplies so everyone can use these.
  • Decide on a homework station or stations.  Research shows that kids can benefit from more than one location for homework.  Be sure these stations are as distraction free as possible.  Set up supplies to travel to each station. The dining room is an excellent spot for a homework station since it’s just a few steps away from the action in your home and there’s few visual distractions.

To get started setting up your successful systems, start with the command center.  Assign a spot for this center, decide what system is going to fit best in that location, and set up the station with labels.  Next, work on your supplies.  Finally, set up your landing spot and then decide on the homework station.  It will take you an hour or two to set up each system.

 

Back to school rules

  1. Wake up. Be awesome.  Go to bed. Have a morning and evening routine.  At your family meeting, create a list of what is a great start to the day including what it takes to head off to school and work.  Discuss each individuals role, as well as how long each responsibility will take.  Set a time for everyone to get up, with an alarm clock.  Some parents choose to get up earlier in order to get more done first.  For the evening routine, start with a set time to begin and end homework. A good start begins with a snack and a good end is when all the papers are packed away and the backpack is in the landing strip with all technology plugged in.   A chart can reinforce these decisions so everyone knows the agreements for the day.
  2. Plan your work and work your plan.  Everyone must have and use a planner. No matter the grade in school, everyone needs a planner.  It’s where all assignments, family events and other information is written. An additional family calendar, located centrally or digitally, can also keep everyone on track.  A completed planner includes notes about every class, including a note saying “no homework.” Using a planner may require some incentives and regular accountability. It’s the one rule that must always be reinforced regularly. More ADHD homework rules here from parents in the homework trenches.
  3. Be the best we can be. Host a family meeting once a week.  Family communication and collaboration is what life is all about and here’s where it happens.  A family meeting gives everyone a chance to share what’s gong on, what’s coming up, and share family values.  Sharing why school is important, what’s behind all that work, and other values helps you and your kids connect. Start with a complement. move on to the calendar and end with fun.
  4. TEAM – together we accomplish more. Partner with your kiddos to help them accomplish goals. Set standards that can be accomplished together.  Track the successes and use “not successes” as learning opportunities by reflecting back with your child what has happened.  Be available as a body double, in their space while they do homework and work alongside them. Create a reminder system to add to, check off and complete homework.  The partnership you build will have long lasting positive impact on your kiddos self esteem and successes.

Back to school rules for your ADHD family

 

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Helpful Tips for your newly diagnosed ADHD Family

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Helpful tips for your newly diagnosed ADHD Family

 

Remember the saying, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?” And so it goes with ADHD.  Many newly diagnosed kids in turn have newly diagnosed ADHD parents.  If you and your family have multiple generation ADHD, it is important to learn about your diagnosis and learn the next steps too.

 

Creating your team

Think of this diagnosis as one that includes challenges to Executive Function, a part of your brain that involves planning and processing.  It is more than just attention and hyperactivity.  Executive function can affect you and your child’s daily life, not just at school or work.  Aspects of ADHD include transitions, getting started, organization, prioritizing, motivation, and working memory.  In every day life that might be getting ready for work and school or organizing your paper work and school papers.

 

Getting a good team together to inform and address ADHD is critical, including professionals in the medical, counseling and coaching arena.   Developing a trust relationship, putting aside judgment, and focusing on care  will help you develop a plan that works for you and your family.  Start with your family pediatrician or your general practitioner to know who would be a good addition to your team.  Your team may include a psychiatrist, counselor, ADHD coach, and professional organizer.  Be sure to add team members who are well qualified ADHD professionals.

 

Learning more about ADHD

There are many venues to learn about ADD.  Associations such as the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (www.adda.org) and CHADD (www.chadd.org) are two of the primary first steps.  These associations have online, national and local presence for you to tap into and learn about ADD.  Finding a local chapter makes for camaraderie and a sense of belonging in your community.

 

Reading may be a top priority for you.  Blogs and books offer a look into the life of families and individuals with ADD.  Among the top are Terri Matlin http://www.momswithadd.com/, Tara McGillicuddy http://www.myaddblog.com/ and Arianne Benefit http://blog.neatandsimple.com/  and Laura Rolands http://myattentioncoach.com/adhd-coaching-blog/. Books include The Family ADHD Solution by Dr. Marten Bertin,  Empowering Youth with ADD by Jodi Sleeper-Triplett, Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell, or Journey Through ADDulthood by Sari Solden.

 

Basic first steps

If you are looking for a few basic solutions for your family, these are a few first steps for you.

  • Set up good self care with bedtimes and good nutrition for everyone in the family. Having adequate sleep and high protein meals can make a difference for everyone.  Often this is the first area that families overlook.
  • Take care with over scheduling for the family. Allow more transition and down time than other families. For families with ADHD, the transitions and the rush of daily life ends up tripping them up.  Be sure that you are mindful of all members’ commitments. Use a family calendar, either with Google calendar or a large month at a glance calendar, posted in the kitchen where everyone can see it.  Host a family “meeting” weekly to go over who is going what, who is going where and what other new “surprises” are going on this week.
  • Address the stress with exercise, yoga, art, therapy and other ways to release the tension.   These activities help everyone with clarity.  Just being outside, taking a walk or even just a little movement can make a difference. All families have stress, but even more so with ADHD.
  • Place clocks in many places throughout your home.  A timer is a great investment in helping you and your child stay on task, get started and get done.  Choose a clock and timer with a “clock face” in order to see time elapsing.  Use it in transitional times too.
  • Put into place additional help throughout the week.  A daily Homework Helper can be a blessing for both parents and students. A local college student, older high schooler or other person can help your student focus and work as a partner with less stress than the parent.  A cleaning service, additional driver or daily money manager can be a blessing to a parent who struggles with these aspects.
  • Make a morning plan and evening routine with your family.  Talk through the plan, note the obstacles, make a chart and stick with your design for smoother family times.  It is always a struggle to be consistent for those with ADHD, but implement a smooth, simple plan for both the beginning and ending of the day.

 

Families with ADHD do best by focusing on the positive in specific, genuine ways.  Remember that a hug, a smile and a pat on the back can bring about the desired behavior and most especially the emotional feeling of being understood and loved.

 

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