Questions to ask yourself while decluttering

decluttering

 

Letting go of stuff is hard work.  Besides your every present thought that “I might need this,” there is a pull at your heartstrings of an emotional attachment and a pull at your purse strings for what you paid for that stuff.  As I meet with clients, we are sorting through their items and asking questions to help them make decisions to edit. Asking yourself questions to help you declutter makes this task easier.

 

Questions about use

Questions about use help you determine how often you use an item and if so, whether to keep it.

Do I love it or use it?

When was the last time I used it?

If it is less than $20 and it takes less than 20 minutes to get it again, can I let it go?

If you could fit in this right now, would you wear it?

 

Questions about quantity

Questions about quantity help you let go of excess.

How many of these do I need?

Would I buy this again today?

Where do I store it to find it again?

 

 

Questions for lifestyle

Questions about lifestyle help you acknowledge your feelings about an item.

Does this help me be my best self?

Will my future self use this?

Is this holding me back?

 

Questions about emotional attachment

Questions about emotional attachment define whether to keep an item or let it go.

Is this something that makes me sad or reminds me of a sad time?

Does this make me smile?

Do I honor it as a keepsake?

 

Questions about finances

Does this have value greater than $50?

Should I sell this or donate it?

Can it be a blessing to others who have great need?

 

As you are decluttering and editing, think about this question, will your life be better for editing your stuff?  At the end of the day, less stuff means less to take care of and more life to experience.

Crafting calendaring habits that will change your life

Calendar and planner

 

Truly crafting calendar habits can change your life.  Calendars and planners are our road map to fulfill our goals and intentions. With a plan and tools you use well, your life will be easier, more productive and more rewarding.

Most especially at the start of the year, however all year long, we search for creative solutions to calendaring. There are two parts to this search. The search for the “perfect” tool” and the search for how to put it to use.  This year more of my clients with ADHD are crafting calendaring habits that are changing their lives.

 

How to get started

Get started by finding the right tools.  Know if you are a paper, digital or hybrid planner person.  I am learning that my clients do best with all three styles and a hybrid variation of these styles. In this case, my clients have a large month at a glance view, a week at a glance view, on both paper on a wall and in a medium sized paper planner. My clients use their phone, laptop and other devices to lay this out too.

Typically I have conversations about having one planner and this is not the case here!  While it does add time and focus to maintain these planners, it is valuable because all the view of all the information helps with processing. It gives context to the data.  On a month at a glance you see your information in comparison to other activities. On a week at a glance you know what you must accomplish in the short time span. With a digital version, you create recurring events and routines. While investing in these tools, you are investing in the opportunity to process information and keep all your balls in the air.

 

Routines to get started

Front loading is the way to start. This term means to add all dates and plans right away, as soon as you receive the information. It also means to front load the level of work required on a project. Front loading takes advantage of your natural energy and interest in both your tools and your projects.  Having these dates, projects and information easily accessible creates a foundation.

 

Keeping on keeping on

There are two elements that keep you on track with your new habits. First, keep adding information and dates as soon as you know about them. This information is in text, email, papers, conversations and meetings. It can be easy to lose track of these. Take time each day to record this in your planner.  Second, review your planner each morning and each evening. It is not enough to record and reviewing daily keeps this information top of mind and fresh.  When I learn that your new calendaring habits are failing, the root is often these two parts.

 

A weekly calendar review time keeps you moving forward. Once a week, check in from a big picture and detail view of your planner. This weekly review is familiar to those following GTD.  It is time for mind sweep to capture all ideas to keep your brain working on work and not remembering.  Capture your mind sweep on paper or digitally, then slot in all the information in your planner. Schedule your weekly calendar review at the start of your week or the end of the week.  Planning is what keeps you up to date and on track.

 

The most important element in your life changing calendaring habits is to not give up. Developing new habits takes time. This is a work in progress each week for you to create a pattern with a combination of dates and projects, as well as work-life integration.  Remember if you skip or miss a week, just get right back to your calendar tomorrow or next week.  Your tenacity  will pay off!

 

Check out my ADHD Friendly tips here on YouTube.

Hearts, Flowers and Organizing

Hearts, flowers and organizing

 

We’ve heard so often, “diamonds are a girl’s best friend.”  You set the scene for romance with jewels and flowers. So what do hearts, flowers and organizing have in common? According to the Five Love Languages and Real Simple, a lot!

What’s love got to do with it?

In the book, The Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman shares the many ways we share and connect in love relationships.  These include acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and receiving gifts.  Each of these are ways that we share connection.

 

Give a little gift of your heart

Acts of service is just one of these five. Acts of service are those ways you take on a responsibility for your loved one or perform an act of kindness.  These include vacuuming, doing the dishes, and routines around the house or at work. Now you can see how these two connect every day and especially at Valentine’s Day.

 

Families and homes have many responsibilities.  Set aside a family meeting time to discuss and assign home routines.  Be sure that there is an equitable distribution of work, hopefully assigned by preferences. Everyone hates to do dishes so work as a team to get this complete.  Together every one accomplishes more.

 

Words of love soft and tender

Another one of the love languages, words of affirmation, set the stage for romance. Words of affirmation are compliments, accolades and acknowledgements.

 

Show a little love with words of affirmation and gratitude.  Those who are washing and folding laundry, getting dinner on the table, or completing what is needed to keep you home up and running what to know you appreciate their efforts and that they are not taken for granted.  Knowing you appreciate them and their work keeps them motivated.  Share your gratitude with specific ways they are contributing to the organization, ease and energy of the house.

 

Love will keep us together

Quality time makes a difference. Quality time is spending meaningful time together.

 

Team work can be quality time.  That work together might be time with body doubling, where you are working independently in the same space, or teaming up together on the same project. No one likes to be told what to do and no one wants to work alone.  Make it fun and work together on organizing.

 

This Valentine’s Day, take the 5 love languages quiz and share some intimate organizing details over dinner!

Understanding ADHD

Understanding adhd

The challenges of neurodiversity and ADHD are compounded when those around you doubt or don’t understand ADHD.  Those with ADHD can be perceived as inconsistent at work and home, easily distracted, and unsure of their intelligence.  It leads to misunderstanding and mistakes. Education about ADHD is the first step in helping your family, friends and work colleagues.  There are many ways to learn.

 

ADHD’s many flavors

While each individual with ADHD is different, there are both many common aspects of executive function that are part of neurodiversity. What can appear as mysterious functioning at times, can be a real pattern in ADHD.  Common challenges include sleep and self care, intense and intermittent focus, perfectionism to a high level and general executive functioning issues with starting, completing and planning.  When partners or colleagues are unaware or not knowledgeable about these challenges, discord occurs.

 

ADHD conference

Attending an ADHD conference is a way to immerse in information.  Each February, in Houston or Dallas, the ADDA-Southern Region (ADDA-SR) hosts a day long event. Each year the keynote presenter shares big information about ADHD research and lifestyle.  A series of breakout sessions caters to individuals and families on a variety of topics.  Attending an event helps you learn in an intense manner with information to process over time.

 

ADHD podcasts

Learning in small bits helps you process information quickly.  ADHD podcasts range from learning about ADHD itself and how individuals with ADHD process information.  My favorites include Translating ADHD, ADDitudemag.com, and FasterThanNormal. Each podcast shares topics with valuable information.

 

Authors and books

Books and audio books are always outstanding resources.  Favorite authors I follow include Ari Tuckman, Judith Kohlberg, Sari Solden, Nancy Ratey, Russell Barkley and Peter Shankman. The number one resource for organizing is ADD Friendly Ways to Organize by Judith Kohlberg and Kathleen Nadeau.

 

Support

Support groups exist for both you and those around you.

  • In Houston, ADDA-SR has many groups around the city that meet regularly.
  • CHADD has support for parents with Parent to Parent trainings, individuals with online forums, and support groups that meet locally depending on your location.
  • ADDitudemag offers a directory for professionals who support clients.
  • Melissa Orlov specifically offers workshops for couples who struggle with ADHD.
  • There are a many ADHD coaching associations that provide coaching support to individuals and families.
  • Medical support comes in the form of therapists, counselors and psychiatrists to diagnose.  You may wish to seek a formal diagnosis to learn more.

 

ADHD websites

Both Understood.org and ADDitudemag.com offer many resources, answers to common questions, and access to tools to use for ADHD. It’s a first step to understanding and taking steps to address lifestyle with ADHD.

 

Understanding ADHD is important to both you and those around you.  Knowledge is powerful and makes a difference in your connections with others.  With between 10-15 percent of the population with ADHD, it’s important to know true facts and not misleading information.