Hearts, Flowers and Organizing

Hearts, flowers and organizing

 

We’ve heard so often, “diamonds are a girl’s best friend.”  You set the scene for romance with jewels and flowers. So what do hearts, flowers and organizing have in common? According to the Five Love Languages and Real Simple, a lot!

What’s love got to do with it?

In the book, The Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman shares the many ways we share and connect in love relationships.  These include acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, and receiving gifts.  Each of these are ways that we share connection.

 

Give a little gift of your heart

Acts of service is just one of these five. Acts of service are those ways you take on a responsibility for your loved one or perform an act of kindness.  These include vacuuming, doing the dishes, and routines around the house or at work. Now you can see how these two connect every day and especially at Valentine’s Day.

 

Families and homes have many responsibilities.  Set aside a family meeting time to discuss and assign home routines.  Be sure that there is an equitable distribution of work, hopefully assigned by preferences. Everyone hates to do dishes so work as a team to get this complete.  Together every one accomplishes more.

 

Words of love soft and tender

Another one of the love languages, words of affirmation, set the stage for romance. Words of affirmation are compliments, accolades and acknowledgements.

 

Show a little love with words of affirmation and gratitude.  Those who are washing and folding laundry, getting dinner on the table, or completing what is needed to keep you home up and running what to know you appreciate their efforts and that they are not taken for granted.  Knowing you appreciate them and their work keeps them motivated.  Share your gratitude with specific ways they are contributing to the organization, ease and energy of the house.

 

Love will keep us together

Quality time makes a difference. Quality time is spending meaningful time together.

 

Team work can be quality time.  That work together might be time with body doubling, where you are working independently in the same space, or teaming up together on the same project. No one likes to be told what to do and no one wants to work alone.  Make it fun and work together on organizing.

 

This Valentine’s Day, take the 5 love languages quiz and share some intimate organizing details over dinner!

Understanding ADHD

Understanding adhd

The challenges of neurodiversity and ADHD are compounded when those around you doubt or don’t understand ADHD.  Those with ADHD can be perceived as inconsistent at work and home, easily distracted, and unsure of their intelligence.  It leads to misunderstanding and mistakes. Education about ADHD is the first step in helping your family, friends and work colleagues.  There are many ways to learn.

 

ADHD’s many flavors

While each individual with ADHD is different, there are both many common aspects of executive function that are part of neurodiversity. What can appear as mysterious functioning at times, can be a real pattern in ADHD.  Common challenges include sleep and self care, intense and intermittent focus, perfectionism to a high level and general executive functioning issues with starting, completing and planning.  When partners or colleagues are unaware or not knowledgeable about these challenges, discord occurs.

 

ADHD conference

Attending an ADHD conference is a way to immerse in information.  Each February, in Houston or Dallas, the ADDA-Southern Region (ADDA-SR) hosts a day long event. Each year the keynote presenter shares big information about ADHD research and lifestyle.  A series of breakout sessions caters to individuals and families on a variety of topics.  Attending an event helps you learn in an intense manner with information to process over time.

 

ADHD podcasts

Learning in small bits helps you process information quickly.  ADHD podcasts range from learning about ADHD itself and how individuals with ADHD process information.  My favorites include Translating ADHD, ADDitudemag.com, and FasterThanNormal. Each podcast shares topics with valuable information.

 

Authors and books

Books and audio books are always outstanding resources.  Favorite authors I follow include Ari Tuckman, Judith Kohlberg, Sari Solden, Nancy Ratey, Russell Barkley and Peter Shankman. The number one resource for organizing is ADD Friendly Ways to Organize by Judith Kohlberg and Kathleen Nadeau.

 

Support

Support groups exist for both you and those around you.

  • In Houston, ADDA-SR has many groups around the city that meet regularly.
  • CHADD has support for parents with Parent to Parent trainings, individuals with online forums, and support groups that meet locally depending on your location.
  • ADDitudemag offers a directory for professionals who support clients.
  • Melissa Orlov specifically offers workshops for couples who struggle with ADHD.
  • There are a many ADHD coaching associations that provide coaching support to individuals and families.
  • Medical support comes in the form of therapists, counselors and psychiatrists to diagnose.  You may wish to seek a formal diagnosis to learn more.

 

ADHD websites

Both Understood.org and ADDitudemag.com offer many resources, answers to common questions, and access to tools to use for ADHD. It’s a first step to understanding and taking steps to address lifestyle with ADHD.

 

Understanding ADHD is important to both you and those around you.  Knowledge is powerful and makes a difference in your connections with others.  With between 10-15 percent of the population with ADHD, it’s important to know true facts and not misleading information.