Back to School: Tips for Family Responsibilities

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Back to school! Its that time of year that makes moms happy and sad; happy to start new routines and sad about the energy and organization it can take to get your family going. Throughout the month of August we are featuring organized moms who will help get you started back to school with the toughest tasks.

Moms are challenged to get everyone to do their part for family responsibilities and chores. Getting everyone to pitch in makes a difference. 

Chores at our house became more of a chore to discuss and get our son to do than an asset to our family time.  The arguing and nagging were non-stop.  To get over our hump, as I knew things would only get worse without instilling a sense of pride and ownership into our house for our son (3 at the time, currently 5 1/2), I began with a family meeting regarding expectations.   My husband had his jobs, I had my jobs, and our son was assigned his job(s).

We began with small tasks for our little man.  His first: putting away his clothes.  Not all of his clothes, but ones that didn’t really matter if they got wrinkled or not, like underwear or socks.  Each time he did it without complaining, he got to pick a sticker from the pack (we went to the store and stocked up on stickers that he picked out prior to doing this).  When he got 5 stickers, he got a reward.  Each category of our sticker chart had a pre-determined reward for filling in all sections.  After a week or two, we increased his load and ours.  (Of course, we described our jobs in more detail instead of adding more things for us to do.  For example, instead of “cleaning house”, it became “cleaning floors and vacuuming” for me and “outside chores” because “mowing and weed eating” for my husband.)  He started putting away his clothes AND putting out the napkins on the table for each meal.  Again, we followed thru with the sticker chart.  We kept it on the fridge so that it was a reminder to him AND us to use.   Consistency regarding the chart is what made this successful.  When I forgot to fill it in, he reminded me.

As he became more experienced and older, we increased his load even more.  Additionally, instead of getting stickers, he now gets an allowance ($3 a week). He saves him money for things he wants to buy.  His chores now consist of: putting all of his clothes away, matching the clean socks, picking up his room each night before getting ready for bed, setting the table for all meals, clearing the table after all meals, unloading the tupperware and silverware from the dishwasher, and washing or drying dishes (whichever would be easiest for him to do based on the dishes…we avoid him handling knives and glass as much as possible).  If he helps clean the bathroom (I spray the chemicals, he wipes), he gets 50 cents. If he helps clean the floors (yes, that includes sweeping and mopping), he gets 50 cents. If there is an extra family task (planting a tree, weeding the flowers, painting the porch, going through clothes, etc.) he has the opportunity to earn additional money (usually $1-$5) depending on the expectation of the outcome for the job’s difficulty level. On a side note, we switched to money instead of toy rewards because it was getting expensive.  As an added bonus, he is now learning the value of money.  Sometimes he requests 4 quarters instead of a one dollar bill, for example.

Here is the important part: ALL (not just a few and not just randomly) responsibilities need to be completed the first time asked AND without an argument to receive his allowance.  That means that if he does a great job all week but blows it over the weekend, he gets no allowance…not even part of it.  Seems harsh, right?  I thought so at first, but it is way worth it.  That was a challenge for him at the beginning, but after a few times of not getting his allowance, he knew we meant business.  The payoff of outlasting his behavior to show him we mean business, way out weighs giving into his fits for his allowance.  I didn’t threat to not pay him and then give him a partial amount.  What would I be teaching him?  This: it’s ok to throw fits to get what you want, you can do things in a half hearted way and get rewarded, the child makes the rules not the parent.  That’s not how it works.  I am the parent.  He is the child.  I am teaching a lifelong skill of self respect, self discipline, following directions, respecting adults, doing things because the need to get done, etc.  This is a black and white issue for us.  Either he will learn to take responsibility and become a responsible citizen or not.

It takes all of us to make our house be successful.  We set the bar at the level we want and WE are in control of him meeting that expectation.  WE are the parents.  He meets our expectation, he doesn’t set the expectation.  I learned that he could really do more than what I was originally expecting.  So, when he got rewarded for his efforts, he had the desire to show me what else he could do.  I no longer need to “water down” my expectations-I set the bar and he reaches it…because he can.  As he begins Kindergarten this year, we will increase his chores yet again.  Lucky kid…

Tiffani Collins is a 7th grade math teacher with one son.  She enjoys spending time with her family and her dog Spartan, and especially family game night. 

Woodlands Home and Garden Show Fall 2012: Simple Solutions for an Efficient Home Office

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Simple Solutions for an Efficient Home Office

Are you avoiding your home office because it is cluttered with paper, extra junk, set up poorly or overwhelming?  Busy lives demand efficient ways to work productively in your home office. Join Certified Professional Organizer and Family Manager Coach Ellen Delap to learn tools and techniques for organizing your files, establishing productive processes and arranging your space for maximum effectively.  Ellen will also share products that will make a difference.  Leave with a plan for your home!

Saturday August 25 at 1:15 pm

Woodlands Marriott Conference and Resort

www.woodlandsshows.com

Back to School Tips Featured on ABC13

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I am thrilled to share Back To School Success Strategies with our Houston community!

http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/video?id=8762205

Back to School: Tips for Organizing School Lunch

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Back to school! Its that time of year that makes moms happy and sad; happy to start new routines and sad about the energy and organization it can take to get your family going. Throughout the month of August we are featuring organized moms who will help get you started back to school with the toughest tasks. 

Moms are challenged by making lunch nutritious, easy to make, and enjoyable for their kids.  Here are some solutions for you. 

Lunch-making blues….

I dread making those lunches every morning as much as my boys dread returning to school.  Alternating PB&J and salami sandwiches weekly gets monotonous quickly—for the mom making the lunch and for the kids eating it!  Last year, I surfed the web and collected some great new ideas to make lunches a little more exciting.  Following are some hits with my kids:

Instead of a sandwich, I had the deli counter cut lunch meat in one thick slice, which I then cubed and packed with cubed cheese, toothpicks, and crackers.  (Toothpicks are huge with my kids—maybe because I have three boys—they love when I condone the stabbing of anything)  Wraps are another hit—the same ingredients as a boring sandwich, but wrapped in a tortilla—I spread cream cheese or Laughing Cow Swiss, then the lunchmeat, shredded cheese and “salad” (my boys’ term for lettuce, spinach, etc).  I am sure the “salad” gets brushed off immediately at school, but I try!

Also, varying the bread on a basic sandwich was a hit.  We used thin bagels, English muffins, and even corn muffins.

Other main dishes include hummus with pita chips and carrots, cold pizza, cold pepperoni rolls, and leftover meatballs (again with toothpicks).  If you have a thermos, baked potatoes, soup, or any pasta can be a great change on a cooler day.

Some extras that were a hit last year:  beef jerky, peanut butter crackers, chips and dip, veggies and ranch, pretzels with the new individual cream cheese packets, yogurt with granola, trail mix, popcorn, and zucchini chocolate chip muffins (I have a great recipe for these—my kids have yet to discover there is a vegetable in there!)

Of course, I always add a fruit and small treat to brighten their day.

Shawna McGrath is a stay at home mom of three boys, part time Math and English tutor, and enjoys believing her kids eat all the food in their lunch, not just the cookies.

Pictured above is the all new Rubbermaid lunch kit named LunchBlox.  As a mom and Gigi (grandmother), I love the gift of LuncBlox from Rubbermaid! As an organizer, lots of rectangular containers in bright colors make a difference.  Little separate compartments for different items and an ice block to keep it all cold make it easy to keep lunch together and make it the night before.  It’s also BPA free and dish washer safe.  All of Shawna’s suggestions will fit in the new LunchBlox.  Making lunch will be so much more fun, nutritious and enjoyable now!  What lunch will you pack in your LunchBlox?

Certified Professional Organizer Ellen Delap is a fan of all sorts of containers!

Back To School: Tips to Organize Your Home

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Back to school time brings backpacks by the back door, papers flying in from kids, and upcoming activities, back to school night and more.  Create a command center and landing strip that helps you control the information and stuff.

  • Establish a command center with a slot of your kids’ papers and the mail.  The slots can be a wall pocket, basket or cube, labelled with their names and your name.  If you use a desk, the command center can be a desktop sorter with hanging files also labelled with names.
  • Choose a spot for your kids’ backpacks.  Hooks should hold up to 40 pounds since backpacks are heavy! One hook per backpack please, also labelled with their names.  Baskets and bins are also great options.  Keeping items corralled is the key. 
  • Post your family calendar, a dry erase board and a bulletin board in this area.   The calendar is to keep all the upcoming dates.  The bulletin board and dry erase boards are for reminders, invitations, and appointments.  Chalkboards are popular too.  Don’t forget a pencil attached by a string just so it is handy too. 
  • Your family chore chart can be added too. 
  • Host a family meeting and talk about where the backpacks and papers go each day.  Empty the papers out and put in the mom or dad’s slot, hang backpack back after homework, parent replaces paper each evening, and everyone is ready for the next day.

Do you have a family command center idea to share? What works for you? 

Need more ideas?  Visit my pinterest board Back to School.  http://pinterest.com/EllenDelap/back-to-school/

Back to School: Tips for Morning Routines

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Back to school! Its that time of year that makes moms happy and sad; happy to start new routines and sad about the energy and organization it can take to get your family going. Throughout the month of August we are featuring organized moms who will help get you started back to school with the toughest tasks.

Moms are challenged to get everyone out the door on time with a smile.  These ideas can get everyone’s day started off right. 

 

Morning school routine

 The most important thing I do to make school mornings run smoothly is to do ALMOST everything the night before.  My goal is for everything to be done except for obviously breakfast, getting dressed, and brushing teeth.  Here are some of the things I do the night before that make our mornings more manageable:

* Unload the dishwasher – I loathe spending extra time in the kitchen late at night when it feels like I’ve been in there ALL DAY, but it’s so worth it to start the morning with a clean kitchen.  The breakfast dishes are a quick rinse and load and then I’ve got a clean kitchen again.

* Pack lunches, fruit break, water bottles – another kitchen chore that I despise doing at night, BUT it’s even worse to deal with the next morning, so I make myself get it done!

* Set out backpacks, shoes, and any other items that are going to school that day

* Lay school clothes out as I’m tucking kids in at night

When I slack off and don’t do one or more of these chores the night before, the result is a scattered, hectic morning – not a good start to the day!

Another trick that works for me is to require that the kids eat, dress, put on shoes, and brush teeth and hair before they watch any cartoons.  They are motivated to get these small chores done and they enjoy having 10 minutes or so of TV time before we head to school.

Meredith Delap is a stay at home mom of three.  She enjoys reading, the beach, and peace and quiet.

Back to School: Successful School Strategies

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Fall is around the corner and now is the time to establish successful strategies and routines.  This time of year we are ready to begin again, even more so than at the new year.   When families work together new routines, the results can be amazing!  Communication is the key.  No one likes to be told what to do whether you are an adult, teen or even a young child.  Asking questions can make the difference on helping your children be successful in school and working together on solutions for family responsibilities and routines.   Here are some questions to help your family get a great start this fall.   Host a family meeting to collaborate on this. 

What are your personal goals for this next year?  Help your child establish a minimum goal for one area by asking what specific actions they will take to accomplish this goal.   Ask them how you can help them reach the goal.  Share with them one goal you have too and ask for their help. 

What is the best way for you to keep up with your calendar, recording your homework and other activities?  Families can set up a month at a glance calendar in a prominent place for everyone to see or use a digital calendar and print out the month at a glance.  Each  child will need their own planner for use at school, either a month at a glance, week at a glance or a spiral notebook to write in all assignments, important dates and other details.  Parents need a reliable planner system too. 

What is your best way to keep up with papers this fall? Some ideas might be one binder with tabbed slash pockets, one folder for each subject and a homework folder, a small box file, or an accordion file with one pocket for each subject.  Remember, paper management is a learned skill and very important to practice. 

What ways to study help you learn best?  Auditory learners learn well with background music, softly playing in the background. Kinesthetic learners learn well with flashcards, re-writing and movement.  Visual learners learn best with color, highlighting and underlining.  Minimize distractions by keeping study time out of your child’s room.  Check grades weekly online with your students asking them to assess what is working for studying. 

Ask all your family members to brainstorm all the stuff that must be done each week, including trash, dinner preparation, dishes, laundry, and more.  Then ask each family member which task they can do best or which they prefer.  When you work from your strengths and/or work on what you prefer, everyone does a better job. Ask for family members to partner in getting these jobs done too, so that no one person has to work alone.  Record their responsibilities on a chart and post this again in a prominent place.  Everyone has come together to work together as a team. 

Start this year off with a plan for everyone in your family. Keep the strategies going with encouragement and enthusiasm, hosting family meetings to continue this dialogue and communicate about other important family values.   Starting new or getting back to routines makes a difference for everyone.

Overcoming your Organizing Fear

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Do you say, I would rather jump off a cliff, go to the dentist, or even run away when faced with organizing? One of the most basic emotions we have is fear when getting organized. Whether we fear being shamed, we fear loss, or we fear defeat, we must acknowledge this. In order to overcome your organizing fear, we must address where this comes from.

  • Will stuff be gone without my permission when I am organizing? Over and over again I hear this from clients. This is the fear that a family member, friend or possibly a professional organizer will throw away their stuff. For many of clients, helpful family and friends have intervened and done a clean out. My clients know that I respect them and their belongings and we create a trust relationship in the process of decluttering. Creating a trust relationship with your organizing partner overcomes this fear.
  • It starts with body language and reading how another  judges you when coming into a cluttered space. The fear of shame is powerful. My clients evaluate my reactions, including my facial reactions, and how I touch their belongings. My clients know that our relationship will be based on success rather than consequences.
  • Its hard to start any project when you feel defeated over and over. Overcoming the fear of defeat is build on the successes of baby steps. When organizing goes awry, our work is not to condemn, but rather to rework and “tweak” the system to work better. First, second, third and even more attempts to organize are the path to success.
  • Focus and new perspectives overcome organizing fears. In partnering with clients, I assist them in clarifying what is next in their lives and what they want to accomplish. Opening a door for them, they can release their belongings and fears and step into a new lifestyle. In order to let go, you must know what comes next, anticipate it, and find joy in it. Letting go of fear and embracing change makes this happen.

Have you overcome your organizing fear?  What made a difference for you?

Smoothing transitions

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Change is hard! We all like things, places and people to remain status quo. But there are lots of transitions that  happen and in the midst of a transition, organizing begins to lag behind sometimes.  It might be a move, a new job, the loss of a loved one, addition of a new family member or other change that has occurred.  Here are a few tips on smoothing transitions.

  • Keep your personal routine. Plan on getting a good night’s rest.  Keep up with meals including lean protein and lots of water. The first thing we let go in times of stress is taking care of ourselves, so be sure to make this a high priority.
  • Set priorities for your work during the time of transition. Know what is most important and must be attended to first, whether it is honoring a keepsake that is your’s after a loved one’s passing or getting your bedrooms set up asap during a move.   You will feel focused and with direction, which can be very calming during this time.  Create a plan so that you can work through the transition.  Sometimes just having a plan makes all the difference. 
  • Make a complete list during times of transition.  Just getting all your ideas and thoughts on paper makes you feel more in control. You can use your energy to get things done, instead of frantically worrying about all the items and how will it all get done. Do this every day so you can keep up to date too. 
  • Seek assistance.  We all work better as a team.  Find others who can help you in any way needed.  It might be having help watching your kids, getting items moved, or just processing the pieces of the transition.   Help is all around us, we just need to be open to asking for it.
  • Acknowledge that “this too shall pass.”  Transitions are just that – the bridge between the “now normal” and the “new normal”.  We transition through different phases and stages.  The “new normal” will emerge after a time too. 

Organizing Tips for College Freshman

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organizing your college freshman

 

It’s almost that time to set your college freshman off! It is a bit scary, a bit exciting and a bit overwhelming for you and for them.   It takes time to get ready for freshman year, so now is the time to get started.  Here are a few tips for organizing your college freshman.

  • Your child will be sharing a space that is a little bigger than their bathroom at home with a new roommate.  Remember to connect with your new roommate as soon as possible to determine who is bringing what for their room.  Most kids want their own laptops and ipads, but refrigerators and microwaves are easily shared.  College essentials also include a shower caddy and laundry basket.   as well as sewing kit, some medicines and quarters.  The Container Store check list can be a big help too!  http://images.containerstore.com/medialibrary/pdf/tips/CollegeChecklist2012.pdf
  • Your time is your own in college and being productive throughout the week is important.  Use a grid from a week at a glance calendar and fill in your classes, then your study time, then your other responsiblities like laundry, meals and activities.  This way you can see what your week will look like and where you will have time to get everything complete. Choose a great planner to transfer this plan and to keep assignments and syllabus.   For each assignment, be sure to write everything in the same calendar.  You will see where assignments from different classes overlap.  Being organized is more than organizing your stuff, it is also organizing your time.  Need a time grid to practice on? Just email me and I will send you one!
  • Organizing your papers in college means stepping up your filing system. Purchase a small box file to keep important documents like college forms, rental agreements, and more.  For your academic papers, you can continue with a binder or switch to colored folders, one for each class.  Take a few minutes each week to review what is in each folder and being sure that papers are kept in the right spot.
  • Keep all your contacts in your phone.  Contacts include email, phone numbers and even addresses.  Having these all in one spot makes it each to stay connected.  Add these right away when you get information so you don’t need slips of paper.
  • Give yourself the gift of order each week. Spend a few minutes looking ahead in your calendar, getting papers back together, and planning on the next steps.  You will be so glad you did!

Do you have ideas to share with new college freshman?