ADHD Friendly Tips for Connection

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adhd friendly tips for connection

 

The value of connection is priceless for all of us. During the pandemic, relationships are what kept us moving forward. For those with ADHD, connection is the solution for support. That connection includes work with colleagues, daily life with family and friends, and those around us in our environment. There are many ways to do this, and here is a short ADHD- friendly list to help you.  We know that these connections empower us and enhance our lives.

 

Double up

Make connections by doubling up on both connection and another positive activity. Take a walk or an exercise class with a friend. You are getting exercise and connecting.

Do it now

Thinking of a friend? Send a quick text just to say hello.

 

Dinner time

Work to have a regular dinner time multiple times a week and always once on the weekend. Do not worry so much about what you are serving as making sure everyone comes to the table to talk. Talk about the highs and lows of the day to know more about everyone’s emotions that day.

 

Family meeting

Family meetings promote communication and organization. Host a weekly meeting for your family to talk about calendars, responsibilities, and upcoming holidays.

 

Communicate gratitude

Sadly, and rarely, do we hear about the beauty of a friendship. Share the impact that person has on you and the strengths of that person when you connect. Being grateful moves us toward happiness. Be someone else’s cheerleader today.

 

Remember a birthday

Just a quick text or a snail mail card makes a difference for you and your connection. Keep a list of birthdays and a stash of cards to send at the beginning or end of the month for all the birthdays coming up or just passed.

Play games online

Online games connect you to others with the same interest and in the global community. Join in the games with your kiddos.

 

Join a book club

Book clubs are where people are enjoying books and connecting.

Connect through spirituality

Our communities are filled with those practicing spirituality at temples, synagogues, mosques, and churches. Reach out to those with similar paths, attend, and join a community. These foundations have many activities to connect to others regularly.

 

Use social media wisely

Connect with others on social media positively. Often there are groups to join with common interests. Set a time to sparingly join online to prevent hyperfocus.

 

Volunteer

We make connections when helping others. Volunteer and do good while connecting.

 

Connection is so important that it should be a time block on your calendar. Take time this week for one small step.

 

 

 

ADHD Friendly Tips for Self Care

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adhd friendly tips for self care

 

Self-care is important for all of us and most especially those with ADHD.  Strategies for sleep, exercise, diet, and collaboration support and strengthen successful lifestyles. Even more so, there are other aspects of self-care that empower you. ADHD symptoms and associated stressors can be helped with attention to rejuvenation and

 

Acknowledging the value of self-care

Self-care as a sanity saver and self-preservation tool? Yes! Self-care helps us be resilient, use our energy well, and manage our emotions. Daily self-care is about practical actions that afford you more capability and capacity to focus, work, and connect. This is done best by prioritizing self-care and establishing a structure throughout the day, week and month.

Structure for daily self-care is like other routines in our lives. It can be a time block for mindfulness or exercise. Or it could be weekly meal plan deliveries. Structure and habits are foundations set into place.

If you see obstacles to self-care, it is often because of boundaries. Self-care can also be staying in and heading to bed early, asking for what you need, and asking for help. This is where knowing ourselves well plays a big role. Each of us has different needs.  Having strong boundaries helps you prioritize your time for you. Too many projects, too many activities, and too much “saying yes” means that your self-care will diminish. Feeling overwhelmed means you are in need of self-care.

 

Healthy self-care categories

Self-care extends to many areas in life and lifestyle.

  • Physical health self-care includes not only a good night’s rest, exercise, and a healthy diet. It also includes regular doctor’s visits, therapy, coaching, and possibly nutritionist visits.
  • Connection self-care includes fostering positive relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.
  • Organizational self-care includes establishing an organized environment, keeping up with finances, and maintaining good routines with laundry.

You may have good self-care established in one area and a gap in others. Focus on strengthening one area in one small way and you continue with your other areas.

 

Creating self-care strategies

As with all routines, start small in creating self-care strategies. Knowing what is best for your self-care includes learning education. You might attend a webinar about a topic before strategizing how to include it in your daily routine. Plan out your day and write a checklist that includes self-care. Start working with a coach or certified professional organizer to help you be accountable for your new routine. Make small, specific, changes with dates and timelines to reinforce your success.

My motto for all my clients is to build a bigger team first. Find an exercise class to join or switch up exercise classes to keep engaged. Meal plan and prep with one of your family or bring in meal prep boxes. Build a care team of physician, psychiatrist, a coach, and other assistants.  Each member of your team helps reinforce your goals and care. Your team offers support with positive encouragement and loving accountability.

 

Practicing self-care and self-compassion

Creating new routines can take from 21 days to 254 days, much longer than what we think should happen.

Being graceful with yourself as you take on new self-care means giving self-compassion. Not only is building self-care a lengthy process, but it can also evaporate as quickly. Keep the momentum going by keeping it simple. Complex self-care requires a lot of juggling. Freshen up self-care by changing up exercise and diet. Know the value of taking time off to reset. It is not easy but worth the effort.

Incorporating Essentialism Into Your Standards

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Essentialism

 

 Essentialism isn’t about getting more done in less time. It’s about getting only the right things done.

 

Are you looking for a strategy to help you do less and own less but you are not a minimalist?  I have found that Essentialism works for me! It gives me the opportunity to do what I love and own what I love.

 

What is essentialism?

I have been a  proponent of essentialism for a while now. Greg McKeown’s book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less is about prioritizing, which is knowing who, what and why something is essential. “The Way of the Essentialist involves doing less, but better, so you can make the highest possible contribution.”  I read this many years ago and it has stayed with me.  I find that drilling down to essentialism keeps me purposeful, intentional, and productive.

 

What does essentialism have to do with our next steps?

Before COVID-19, we have to admit we were on a hamster wheel with an endless list of actions and endless opportunities to purchase. Now we know what it feels like to do less.  It gives us the opportunity to be selective about what we are doing, who we are with, and what choices we can make.  We can regain control of our choices to use our time and energy to make a difference. Even more, after time has passed since COVID, we want to live intentionally and purposefully.

 

Where can we apply this concept?

Wonder where I apply the concept of Essentialism? It starts with what is in my home and what I own. I consider what is essential to my work and self-care. For me what is essential is a limited number of work clothes and play clothes. Limiting these helps me save time and money. Digging deep into my core values, I know that it is essential for me to spend time with family and stay connected to friends. My calendar reflects these essentials. I love that I can define these elements and stay true to my purpose in what I own and what I do.

Here is an example of where I have used Essentialism for myself. A product comes to mind that will make my life easier. I sit with that idea for a day, thinking about how essential that is to my daily life. I research the cost and prioritize the improvement it might make. I purchase it with intention and when it arrives I place it where it will be used frequently. It is now essential to what I do each day. I have deemed this item absolutely essential to my well-being and the order of my life. That item might be a new keurig pod flavor or a new bag to travel. The process works well for every purchase and every new activity in my life.

 

Where can I learn more?

Learning about Essentialism and its role in others’ lives helps you evaluate for yourself. Check out this podcast to learn more and be inspired.

3 Tips for Reducing Cognitive Load

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reducing cognitive load

 

Have you heard the term cognitive load? “Cognitive load” is the amount of information that working memory can hold at one time. The term is often used in the learning environment. However, we have an ever-increasing amount of cognitive load, especially since the pandemic. We are holding a lot of information in our heads, often novel information that is being processed. The information in working memory is more and more complex. Because we are incorporating and processing the information, it feels unwieldy to think.  Happily, there are a variety of tools to help us reduce that load.

 

Use a reliable, easy-to-use capture tool.

Write stuff down. Use an app to capture information. The less we keep in our heads the more we free up the cognitive load. First capture, then prioritize the information. By capturing information it is no longer in working memory. By evaluating you shorten your list of tasks.

  • Be intentional about your paper capture tool. A notebook keeps all the information together. A disk binder system creatively gives you the opportunity to create sections for information. Your binder becomes a safe place for all information.
  • Use apps wisely. The Notes app is an easy-to-use system.
  • Use your system consistently for the best off-loading of cognitive load. That is to have a routine to add to, delete and review your information. GTD, Getting Stuff Done, uses a capture and review system with a weekly planning time.

 

Add routines to daily living.

Daily routines lighten your cognitive load by creating an auto-pilot for daily and weekly self-care. Routines add consistency which adds serenity.

  • Use a checklist for your daily routines. Dry erase board checklists can help start or end the day. Your family will benefit from this as well. No more yelling at your family to get stuff done too.
  • Create a parallel schedule for your day with getting up and going to bed at the same time. You will be sure to be well rested and better able to think.
  • Track your success with visual signs of success. Whether it is a checkmark on your planner or a habit tracker app, you will enjoy your success knowing this data.

 

Be intentional about new information, tasks, and projects.

Intention can lighten your cognitive load. Paying attention to the purpose and related actions that are behind a task brings clarity. Limit new projects to no more than 2 simultaneous projects and have pre-set rules for decisions as new information comes along. Remember that anxiety can affect your cognitive load and create stress and paralysis. When you give yourself time to process and create a plan, you gain control and create successful outcomes. Intentional actions include giving yourself time to plan, time to process information, and time to act on the plan. All of this can be accomplished with a fresh perspective and time blocking.

 

Remember the phrase, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Ultimately, that is the remedy for reducing cognitive load.

 

Getting Derailed and Getting Back on Track

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getting derailed and getting back on track

 

You are moving forward, being productive, getting stuff done, and taking care of yourself. Then all of a sudden – poof! – this vanishes. It could be from being overwhelmed, being unprepared for life’s circumstances, being unmotivated, or just because. All of a sudden, after so much effort, you feel derailed and unsure of what to do next. So what to do to get back on track?

When you get derailed by too many projects

Additional projects are added to your responsibilities at work. In your enthusiasm, you add on more home chores like repairs and home renovation.

Use your task list wisely. If you are overwhelmed, make a list of all the responsibilities and tasks. Then assign these to time blocks for getting these started and completed. At home, take on no new responsibilities until you feel more in control. There are many project management apps that can help you organize your projects and time. 

 

When you get derailed by a lack of motivation

Lack of motivation can occur when you feel overwhelmed or lack purpose behind a project. You might start with a lot of interest and enthusiasm, and then those emotions wane.

Break projects into small steps to feel consistent success. When you see your success, it builds in motivation to continue. If you come to a point where you don’t remember or see the end goal, use a mind map to reconsider the outcome and what is important to you about the completion of the project. Bring in additional team members to add interest and motivation.  

When you get derailed by vacation

You have really enjoyed your time off, and now it is time to get back to work. There’s so much to do and you are not ready to roll.

Set up for success with a catch-up day. On the first day, you return, establish a no meeting policy. Set a time to catch up on email and connect with colleagues on projects. Use a task list continuously or start now to keep a list of all responsibilities. 

 

When you get derailed by “life happening”

“Life is happening!” That is when there is a new relationship, a loss of a family member, a job change, moving to a new home, or multiple circumstances happen simultaneously.

Self-care is the key to getting through situations. First, start with a good night’s rest and get support. Support can be meeting with a therapist or coach, seeking medical attention, adding a team member to your work group, or delegating to a paid helper. There are times that there is too much for us to handle. 

 

When you get derailed in general

You are a marvel at your task list, getting to the gym, and eating healthy. Then you stop.

Everyone gets derailed at some time. Don’t fret about it –  just do it (whatever that was) and start again!

Getting Back into Work Mode

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getting back into workflow

 

This summer record numbers of people are taking time off and going on vacation. Being away has so much value in helping us reset. However, getting back into the workflow can be difficult after vacation. Check out these strategies to help you transition back to work more quickly.

 

Write vacation preparation notes

Set yourself up for success with notes before you leave. Additional notes on the next steps help you catch up upon return. Share these notes with colleagues who are on your team.

 

Schedule no meetings the first day back

Give yourself time to go through email, check your schedule and set priorities the first day after vacation. By prioritizing getting organized you are ready to get back into the workflow. From my own experience, you are not ready to get back to full speed that first day. Pace yourself with having a buffer day.

 

Review your planner and your tasks to prioritize

Returning from travel, at work, you are likely in the middle of many projects and at home you definitely need groceries. Review your planner to catch up on what is next for your planner. At home, check in with what is needed immediately to run smoothly. Taking this review time gives you a sense of direction and where to spend your time first.

 

Set a reasonable schedule for the week of your return

Don’t overdo and overbook your first week back. Diving back into a full schedule seems smart because you have been away. Give yourself ample self-care and breaks during the first week back with extra time for walks, preparation for each day, and lots of hydration.

 

Set aside time to work through email

Email is the most difficult part of the return to work. Having a plan helps you gain control. Be sure to set your out-of-office reminder so that your colleagues know you are not going to respond until you return. Then, use divide your time to work through email when you return. Set aside a time block for a high-level review of email and learn what is urgent. You can respond to this quickly. Then, set another time block to calendar dates, add information to projects, and work through what has come in while you were away. By creating two segments for your email, you can feel more in charge and be more responsive.

 

Return to routines quickly

Unpack your luggage, order groceries, start laundry and get to bed on time. Returning to your routines quickly helps you ramp up your productivity.

 

Give yourself grace throughout the first week back to work. It is going to take time to regain momentum. Having these strategies will help you be proactive about your workflow after your time away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get Organized with Contacts, Email and Snail Mail Addresses

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organize your contacts, information and addresses

 

No one remembers your 7 – 10 digit phone number or your Venmo account name. Happily this is all automated for us now.  Your contact list is a combination of your closest connections and lots of possible vendors and business people. Keeping your list up to date makes it easier to work together and also saves you time trying to find information. Here’s how to organize this area to make it easy and seamless for you.

 

Consolidate

You want your information in one place. Currently it could be in many different locations such as icloud, gmail, or any other email system. This might be the hardest part of this project. Where do you want to keep your contacts? If you have used Outlook, it’s often the easiest place to keep this information.  Google and gmail are a good choice if you use gmail as your native email account. Google syncs with all phones and transfers easily.

 

Name

Consistent naming helps you remember who and what to look up in your phone. You might be storing contacts for a new roof or doctor. Or you could have met a contact at a recent event and want to connect later. Having a consistent practice for entering information into your contacts helps!  Decide if you want to enter Name, Business (business name and what that business does).  That would be Ellen Delap, Professional-Organizer.com, paper organizing. Keeping consistent also helps you keep the clutter in your contacts to a minimum.

 

Edit

Editing is a tedious job, so it’s a task we can do while sitting in a carpool line, waiting on a prescription or when we are low energy. Look through contacts and delete those that are not used or you can’t remember when you last contacted that person.

 

Update

When it comes to updating, it is best to take a minute and update as soon as you see new information. It’s easier to do this right away because your contacts are always current.

 

Backlog

Before you add new contacts from business cards or other scraps of paper, be sure you review first. Adding names and businesses just in case will not help you.

 

Power up

According to SalesForce, “Contact management is the process of recording contacts’ details and tracking their interactions with a business. Such systems have gradually evolved into an aspect of customer relationship management (CRM) systems, which allow businesses to improve sales and service levels leveraging a wider range of data.”  If you are overwhelmed with contacts in your small business, it’s time to power up to a CRM to help you with contacts and leverage this information.

2022 Word of the Year: Strategic

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word of the year strategic

 

For many year’s now, I have chosen a word of the year as a guide for my intentions and purpose. A word of the year keeps me grounded and committed to a big thought for the year.

 

Why a word instead of a goal

I am a big fan of SMART goals and tracking data. SMART goals are specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time based. You can accomplish your goals with milestones, accountability with tracking, and time lines to prioritize what to do and when to do it. According to Essentialism’s Greg, Mckeown, if you empower your goals by connecting to your core beliefs, its more likely you will be successful. Tie your “why” to your goals to ensure success.

 

I chose a different route over the last few years. As my friend Janice Simon says, the word of the year sets an intention rather than a goal. That intention guides you to stay true to your values and focus decision making. Our word of the year influences our mindset at home and at work, keeping us on track. It is a holistic way to shape the year.

 

How to choose a word of the year

Take time to reflect on what you want more of or less of in your life this year. Some years it is more about my professional rather than personal needs. I typically begin thinking in December of my word and wrap up in early January. Give yourself time to choose your word.

  • Pay attention to what you are paying attention to, says Adam Grant and John Green. What have you been saying to yourself that you need to do more or less of? Where have you been spending time or need to spend time?
  • According to Inc writer Minda Zetlin, ask yourself these questions: What do I need, not want, but need? What’s in my way? What has to go? What needs to be done in me and through me
  • Narrow your list of possibilities that have meaning to you. I usually narrow down to 2 or 3 words, then to my one word.

Once chosen, place your word where you can see it regularly to reflect on it and use it. That might be in your planner, on your bathroom mirror or your computer desktop. Use it in your weekly planning as you review your tasks and week ahead.

 

For 2022, I chose the word strategic. Strategic is defined as carefully designed or planned to serve a particular purpose or advantage and of great importance within an integrated whole or to a planned effect. This year I want to view my personal and professional life with an advantageous overview.

 

Previous Word of the Year

2021. Niche. Moving specifically to a tighter focus.

2020. Expand. Expand my horizons.

2019. Shift. A slight shift in direction can bring more opportunities.

2018. Possibilities. What’s possible?

2017. Thrive. Thrive in all ways.

2016. Momentum. Keep going.

2015. Fifteen. Fifteen years in professional organizing and productivity

2014. Flourish. Flourish in life.

2013. Fabulous. Fit, fabulous and fun!

 

What is your word of the year?  I look forward to hearing from you!

Starting the Year with Self Care

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Start the year with time for self care

No matter how busy you are, time for self care is an important priority.  It is easy to overlook and requires scheduling and routines. Make this intentional care taking that ensures you are at your best.

 

There are five types of self care to consider. Keep in mind your physical, social, mental, emotional and spiritual care. We must take care of our bodies to stay well. Keeping connected is important to our well being. Being mentally sharp and our mental perspective influence our psychological well-being. Nurturing our spirit through spirituality keeps us connected to purpose and meaning. Maintaining and cultivating coping skills  to deal with the many emotions we experience are part of our emotional self care. Think about these many types and where you fit on the continuum of each. Assess your needs and determine small steps to move forward in one of these areas.

 

Self care tips for those with ADHD

  • Start with a great night’s rest. Neurodiverse brains work best with adequate rest. Don’t compromise your well being for an hour of television, games or TikTok.
  • Food is fuel. Protein is important for energy and productivity. Include protein in every meal.
  • Partner with a buddy for exercise. That includes a class, a walk or youtube.
  • Intentionally set a daily time for self care. You may feel too busy to do this, however this is what keeps you productive and your best self.
  • Write a list of what self care is to you and post it where you can see it. You are reinforcing this intention.

Get started with these easy self care routines for those with ADHD.

  • Automate your meal prep by tapping into meal kits like Hello Fresh, Blue Apron or HEB Meal Simple. Order on the same day each week and prep on Sunday.
  • Keep a list with a variety of ways to exercise each week. Exercise is more interesting with variety.
  • Find activities to stimulate your interest and your brain including crossword puzzles, Sudoku or puzzles.
  • Create connection by sending texts or written notes to friends. Small gestures are important touch points.
  • Find a coach or counselor to help you process emotions and experiences.

 

With these self care tips, determine which areas of your life need more or less of something. As we experience uncertainty and go through life changes. these needs change too.

 

Have a Holly Jolly Holiday (With Holiday Self Care)

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have a holly jolly holiday with self care

 

The holiday season is filled to the brim with activities and time together.  There’s lots of excitement, not to mention lots of organizing and things to do. Your planning often is about taking care of others and insuring everyone’s happiness. This year we need to practice packing some extra self care with our holiday bags. Check out these ideas to add self care to your holiday planning.

 

Schedule time for self care

It is easy to think, with so much extra to do, when do I have time for self care? Self care is more important during busy times because it is the fuel that keeps you going.  Create self care routines at the same time daily. These priorities can be at the beginning of the day to give you a strong start to each day or at the end of the day to ensure your rest.

 

Keep your gratitude practice going strong

Appreciating the blessings in your life remind us of all that is good and positive.  Whether it is writing a text to a friend, writing in your journal or a note to yourself, keep your practice intact during the holiday season.

 

Acknowledge emotions

During the holidays we experience a range of emotions.  Whether happy, sad, overwhelmed or frenzied, it is good to  name emotions. We can acknowledge what we are experiencing and process this. Give yourself time to pause. Check in with your feelings, acknowledge and sort through the reasons behind these. Manage your expectations and keep these in line with what you can physically and emotionally manage.

 

Keep a list of self care options

When we start down a negative path, we want to have options to make a change. Make your own list of relaxation activities. This can include taking a walk to see holiday lights, sitting down with a hot cup of cocoa, putting on fuzzy slippers for the rest of the day, or any number of soothing activities.

 

Well being first

We all know that our physical wellbeing is critical.  Be sure you keep your health routines like sleep and diet as much as you can. While there are times for a late night and special treats, keeping to your regular bedtime and meals with protein give you the energy and emotional stability you need.

 

It will be a holly jolly holiday in all ways when you take time for your self care.