ADHD Friendly Tips for Successful Family Meetings

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adhd friendly family meeting tips

 

Family meetings are a part of weekly organizing and productivity. Communicating what is coming up, preparing for activities and academics, and discussing family engagement are key reasons to be sure you host your meeting. At times the meeting gets bogged down or skipped entirely. Here are ideas on how to keep your family meeting moving forward and valuable.

Create a consistent agenda

Every meeting needs a great agenda. That is true for your family meeting.  According to Psychology Today, here are some valuable topics.

  • What happened last week and how did it go
  • What’s happening this week and future/holiday plans
  • Old stuff that needs a family decision
  • New stuff that needs a family decision
  • Money stuff
  • Family stuff
  • Taking care of our stuff

Pro tip: If your family loses interest, shorten the agenda to three topics.

 

Keep it short

Every meeting becomes yawn-worthy when it takes too long. You, your partner, and all your family will appreciate brevity.  Know the meeting priorities, keep a high level, and use visual aids as needed for your meeting.

Pro tip: Play Beat the Clock to energize your meeting. Set the timer and keep your session ahead of schedule. Everyone will stay on track with this tip. 

 

Add interest and fun

Just the word meeting can make this time together less fun.  Shake it up with fun! Fun can mean a special dessert or a family activity that concludes the meeting.

Pro tip: Use wacky ways to add fun, including Crazy Hats or a Walk and Talk meeting. You can meet at different locations inside and outside your home. 

 

Schedule regularly

Consistent family meetings help everyone maintain consistent communication. When you host this meeting weekly, you have more up-to-date information and better communication. Find the best time to meet and meet at that time regularly.

Pro tip: You may need to try different times of the week to meet or rotate the days of the week. The goal is to meet weekly. 

 

Rotate responsibilities

Share the responsibilities of leadership with your family.  You are building leadership with your children leading the meeting. One person can be a scribe to add information to the family calendar. When you share the responsibilities, kids also have more buy-in for the meeting. Your kids enjoy the fun of being in charge. One person can be the time keeper to be sure the meeting starts and ends on time.

Pro tip: Establish a pattern to share the roles between your family so everyone knows the expectations and when roles will change. 

 

Always remember that the goal of your family meeting is to connect. No matter if you complete the agenda or have an agreement on the next family event, you are modeling and nurturing connection.

 

 

ADHD Friendly Tips for Self Care

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adhd friendly tips for self care

 

Self-care is important for all of us and most especially those with ADHD.  Strategies for sleep, exercise, diet, and collaboration support and strengthen successful lifestyles. Even more so, there are other aspects of self-care that empower you. ADHD symptoms and associated stressors can be helped with attention to rejuvenation and

 

Acknowledging the value of self-care

Self-care as a sanity saver and self-preservation tool? Yes! Self-care helps us be resilient, use our energy well, and manage our emotions. Daily self-care is about practical actions that afford you more capability and capacity to focus, work, and connect. This is done best by prioritizing self-care and establishing a structure throughout the day, week and month.

Structure for daily self-care is like other routines in our lives. It can be a time block for mindfulness or exercise. Or it could be weekly meal plan deliveries. Structure and habits are foundations set into place.

If you see obstacles to self-care, it is often because of boundaries. Self-care can also be staying in and heading to bed early, asking for what you need, and asking for help. This is where knowing ourselves well plays a big role. Each of us has different needs.  Having strong boundaries helps you prioritize your time for you. Too many projects, too many activities, and too much “saying yes” means that your self-care will diminish. Feeling overwhelmed means you are in need of self-care.

 

Healthy self-care categories

Self-care extends to many areas in life and lifestyle.

  • Physical health self-care includes not only a good night’s rest, exercise, and a healthy diet. It also includes regular doctor’s visits, therapy, coaching, and possibly nutritionist visits.
  • Connection self-care includes fostering positive relationships with family, friends, and colleagues.
  • Organizational self-care includes establishing an organized environment, keeping up with finances, and maintaining good routines with laundry.

You may have good self-care established in one area and a gap in others. Focus on strengthening one area in one small way and you continue with your other areas.

 

Creating self-care strategies

As with all routines, start small in creating self-care strategies. Knowing what is best for your self-care includes learning education. You might attend a webinar about a topic before strategizing how to include it in your daily routine. Plan out your day and write a checklist that includes self-care. Start working with a coach or certified professional organizer to help you be accountable for your new routine. Make small, specific, changes with dates and timelines to reinforce your success.

My motto for all my clients is to build a bigger team first. Find an exercise class to join or switch up exercise classes to keep engaged. Meal plan and prep with one of your family or bring in meal prep boxes. Build a care team of physician, psychiatrist, a coach, and other assistants.  Each member of your team helps reinforce your goals and care. Your team offers support with positive encouragement and loving accountability.

 

Practicing self-care and self-compassion

Creating new routines can take from 21 days to 254 days, much longer than what we think should happen.

Being graceful with yourself as you take on new self-care means giving self-compassion. Not only is building self-care a lengthy process, but it can also evaporate as quickly. Keep the momentum going by keeping it simple. Complex self-care requires a lot of juggling. Freshen up self-care by changing up exercise and diet. Know the value of taking time off to reset. It is not easy but worth the effort.

ADHD Friendly Solutions to Productivity Challenges

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adhd friendly solutions to productivity challenges

 

It is common for people with ADHD can have productivity challenges. It is hard to get started, stay focused, and complete tasks. Depending on the challenge, there is an ADHD Friendly solution to your productivity obstacle.

 

Challenge: Having trouble getting started

Executive function challenges can prevent you from starting a task. Initiating a task requires a “warm-up” to the task. It could be using a timer that is set for 15 minutes, organizing the stuff or space you are working or reviewing materials for the task.  Writing a note where you left off helps start up the next work session.

 

Challenge: Gathering too much information for a project

Many people are “information seekers” and love researching information. Often that leads to more information than needed for a project and disorganized information that is hard to use. If you are a paper person, write the information on note cards or post-it notes to organize later. Evernote works well for digital people to gather information in “notebooks.” Call this information into your messages and dictate it verbally to capture it. Set a guideline for how much information you need, such as how many websites to visit or sources to quote. With a “rule” in place, it is easier to gather less data.

 

Challenge: Getting distracted while working on a project.

External and internal distractions are part of the lives of everyone with ADHD. Make a plan for yourself to lessen distractions. Make a list of quick finish tasks to feel the joy of finishing a project. Establish a power period for deep work at your best time of day. Matching your chronotype to your work lowers distractibility. For external distractions, use headphones while working or move to the quietest space at work.

 

Challenge: Getting bored with the project while in the middle of it

When projects drag on, there are many updates or details, or project scope changes, the thrill, and interest in a project can wane. Reclaim your interest by checking “why” you are investing time and energy in the project. That “why” can be something related to the greater good too.

 

Challenge: Not prioritizing your To-Do List

The best list is a prioritized list! Knowing the most important tasks for that day helps you feel accomplished. For those with impulsivity, it’s tempting to jump right in!  Many people with ADHD use urgency as a prioritization tool. Take a bigger look at your list for the week and the day and color code or number your priorities. Remember, the only task you can count on working on in any day is the first task of the day.

 

Challenge: Scheduling a task and ignoring it

The reminder chimes and you ignore it, over and over again. A better strategy is to schedule mindfully and match your task with a time block. Give yourself ample time in your block to get started and do a deep dive into the work. Time blocks should also match your best times to work.

 

Challenge: Finishing a project late

Those with ADHD lack time awareness and do not know how long it takes to complete a task or project. Overestimate the time it takes to complete a project. Work backward from the due date to set intervals for project progress.

 

Challenge: Being overwhelmed by a project

Overwhelming projects are a part of home and work life. Just thinking about these may be paralyzing because of the planning, executing, and doing the work itself. Use sticky notes or a mind map to jot down all the parts of the project. Then write in who can help with each step. Make a note of which steps have deadlines. Keep these notes in a notebook for reference as the project moves forward. Write only the first steps on your To Do list. Adding in help makes the project more fun.

 

Challenge: Too much paper around

People with ADHD have a love/hate relationship with paper. Highly visual people like to see information in print, rather than digitally. Kinesthetic modality people like to write notes to keep information and to keep focused. Printing often feels like the right step to not lose information. Set up rules for paper management. That might be never open junk mail or keep all paper in a basket rather than on your desk. Paper management systems include a command center or file cart near your workspace to keep the paper organized.

 

Being intentional about your ADHD -productivity challenges is a starting point. Productivity may occur more in spurts than seamlessly. Choose one of these optons to find your own solution for your best workflow.

Incorporating Essentialism Into Your Standards

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Essentialism

 

 Essentialism isn’t about getting more done in less time. It’s about getting only the right things done.

 

Are you looking for a strategy to help you do less and own less but you are not a minimalist?  I have found that Essentialism works for me! It gives me the opportunity to do what I love and own what I love.

 

What is essentialism?

I have been a  proponent of essentialism for a while now. Greg McKeown’s book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less is about prioritizing, which is knowing who, what and why something is essential. “The Way of the Essentialist involves doing less, but better, so you can make the highest possible contribution.”  I read this many years ago and it has stayed with me.  I find that drilling down to essentialism keeps me purposeful, intentional, and productive.

 

What does essentialism have to do with our next steps?

Before COVID-19, we have to admit we were on a hamster wheel with an endless list of actions and endless opportunities to purchase. Now we know what it feels like to do less.  It gives us the opportunity to be selective about what we are doing, who we are with, and what choices we can make.  We can regain control of our choices to use our time and energy to make a difference. Even more, after time has passed since COVID, we want to live intentionally and purposefully.

 

Where can we apply this concept?

Wonder where I apply the concept of Essentialism? It starts with what is in my home and what I own. I consider what is essential to my work and self-care. For me what is essential is a limited number of work clothes and play clothes. Limiting these helps me save time and money. Digging deep into my core values, I know that it is essential for me to spend time with family and stay connected to friends. My calendar reflects these essentials. I love that I can define these elements and stay true to my purpose in what I own and what I do.

Here is an example of where I have used Essentialism for myself. A product comes to mind that will make my life easier. I sit with that idea for a day, thinking about how essential that is to my daily life. I research the cost and prioritize the improvement it might make. I purchase it with intention and when it arrives I place it where it will be used frequently. It is now essential to what I do each day. I have deemed this item absolutely essential to my well-being and the order of my life. That item might be a new keurig pod flavor or a new bag to travel. The process works well for every purchase and every new activity in my life.

 

Where can I learn more?

Learning about Essentialism and its role in others’ lives helps you evaluate for yourself. Check out this podcast to learn more and be inspired.

5 Tips for an Easy, Organized and Productive Fall

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fall organizing

 

Summer is wrapping up and fall weather is coming soon! While we are all hoping for an early dip in the temperature, we can get started organizing for fall. Here is a short list of 5 spots to tackle for fall organizing. Getting organized now will save you time this fall when you are busy with activities, sports, and more.

 

Edit summer items then bring in fall attire.

The end of the season is the best time to edit and declutter. What has not been worn this season is ready to consign or donate. Edit out bathing suits, shorts, dresses and pants so that you have less to store and more space for fall clothing. Once you have decluttered, bring in seasonal attire gradually with heavier clothing added in November. If you have not already gifted yourself with slim line hangers, now is a great time to switch up. An organized closet helps you get ready easily every day.

 

Refresh your pantry.

Fall brings more structure to our days and to our meal planning. Start meal planning with pantry-made meals that make dinner easy to get on the table. Pantry meals include beans, pasta, rice, and ramen. Refresh your pantry with staples, organize your snacks into bins, and decant your flour for upcoming baking. Labeling your pantry makes it easy for everyone to find items and put away groceries.

 

Update your medicine and first aid supplies.

Before fall allergies hit and while COVID continues, update your medicines and first aid supplies. Review your expired prescriptions and recycle these at a local pharmacy. Categorize your supplies by use so you can easily find what you need. Using 3-tier small drawer storage, you can group like items together and label the drawer.

 

Sharpen up your landing strip.

Busy people need a place for stuff to come and go from the house. That includes backpacks, bags, incoming packages, and returns.  Sharpen up your landing strip with hooks for bags and a bench for packages, with baskets below for shoes. Not only is it easier to get those packages out the door, everyone is ready to go and can grab their bags.

 

Get ahead for the holidays.

Look ahead to the holidays and lessen your stress by organizing spaces in your home and holiday supplies.

  • Start now by decluttering your guest room so it is “company ready” by the time the holidays arrive. Let go of additional supplies from finished projects and distribute items to where they belong.
  • Donate kids’ toys now to make room for upcoming gifts. Your kiddos will play more with a smaller number of toys and appreciate the new gifts. If there are unopened toys, donate those for upcoming holiday toy drives.
  • Check out your Halloween, Fall, Thanksgiving, and Holiday decorations. It is time to let go of extra decorations that clutter the attic or basement. Rearrange decoration bins by holiday and label what is stored in each. You will especially appreciate this when you are setting up for each holiday.

 

Taking a proactive approach to your fall organizing helps you be ready for all the fun that is coming soon!

 

Updates to Your Emergency Preparedness Plan

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updates to your emergency preparedness plan

 

Every year we prepare for possible hurricanes here in Houston. Now we know that there are many different emergencies that crop up. Preparing in advance helps us in the moment of the situation but also with feeling capable of helping others as well. Here are six updates you can make for your smart preparedness strategy.

 

Communicate your emergency plan with your family.

Every family needs a plan for evacuation, shelter in place, and communication. The first step is to host a conversation discussing what is required in each situation. Discuss situations that require these options and see if there is consensus. Review what is needed in each case and work as a team to assemble what is required. Having a common plan and communicating about that plan helps everyone feel more secure.

 

Review your insurance coverage.

Check your coverage for flood, wind, and other disasters in order to know your specific coverage. Learn more from your trusted insurance agent or reach out for further information if needed. The first step is to include your documented coverage with your important documents.  From here you can add coverage as needed depending on your situation.

 

Update your emergency kit.

Every home has an emergency kit and September is a great time to update what is in the kit. The first step is to check batteries and perishables. Check if medicines have expired. If there are new additions as technology has changed, this is a good time to review. Since the Spring of 2020, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has recommended people include additional items in their kits such as masks, hand sanitizer, and infant formula. Be sure your pet supplies are included in your kit.

 

Ensure continuous backup of devices

Backing up your data ensures you always have access to critical information. Be sure you use a reliable, consistent, automated backup daily. The first step is to choose a backup system and install this.

 

Prepare a home inventory.

Home inventory is a list of your assets. There are many options. The first step is to choose an inventory system that works for you. The simplest system is a home video of your assets, paired with purchase receipts. Also available are online inventories that can include photos and videos. The home inventory is as necessary as your important documents in keeping your assets secure.

 

Gather all your important documents.

It can be overwhelming to gather your documents together. The first step is a list of what you need and what needs to be most current. Take 30 minutes once a week for several weeks to find these online or paper documents.

We know the value of proactive preparation for emergencies of all sorts. Take steps now for updating or finalizing your preparations.

 

 

 

 

3 Tips for Reducing Cognitive Load

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reducing cognitive load

 

Have you heard the term cognitive load? “Cognitive load” is the amount of information that working memory can hold at one time. The term is often used in the learning environment. However, we have an ever-increasing amount of cognitive load, especially since the pandemic. We are holding a lot of information in our heads, often novel information that is being processed. The information in working memory is more and more complex. Because we are incorporating and processing the information, it feels unwieldy to think.  Happily, there are a variety of tools to help us reduce that load.

 

Use a reliable, easy-to-use capture tool.

Write stuff down. Use an app to capture information. The less we keep in our heads the more we free up the cognitive load. First capture, then prioritize the information. By capturing information it is no longer in working memory. By evaluating you shorten your list of tasks.

  • Be intentional about your paper capture tool. A notebook keeps all the information together. A disk binder system creatively gives you the opportunity to create sections for information. Your binder becomes a safe place for all information.
  • Use apps wisely. The Notes app is an easy-to-use system.
  • Use your system consistently for the best off-loading of cognitive load. That is to have a routine to add to, delete and review your information. GTD, Getting Stuff Done, uses a capture and review system with a weekly planning time.

 

Add routines to daily living.

Daily routines lighten your cognitive load by creating an auto-pilot for daily and weekly self-care. Routines add consistency which adds serenity.

  • Use a checklist for your daily routines. Dry erase board checklists can help start or end the day. Your family will benefit from this as well. No more yelling at your family to get stuff done too.
  • Create a parallel schedule for your day with getting up and going to bed at the same time. You will be sure to be well rested and better able to think.
  • Track your success with visual signs of success. Whether it is a checkmark on your planner or a habit tracker app, you will enjoy your success knowing this data.

 

Be intentional about new information, tasks, and projects.

Intention can lighten your cognitive load. Paying attention to the purpose and related actions that are behind a task brings clarity. Limit new projects to no more than 2 simultaneous projects and have pre-set rules for decisions as new information comes along. Remember that anxiety can affect your cognitive load and create stress and paralysis. When you give yourself time to process and create a plan, you gain control and create successful outcomes. Intentional actions include giving yourself time to plan, time to process information, and time to act on the plan. All of this can be accomplished with a fresh perspective and time blocking.

 

Remember the phrase, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Ultimately, that is the remedy for reducing cognitive load.

 

Getting Derailed and Getting Back on Track

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getting derailed and getting back on track

 

You are moving forward, being productive, getting stuff done, and taking care of yourself. Then all of a sudden – poof! – this vanishes. It could be from being overwhelmed, being unprepared for life’s circumstances, being unmotivated, or just because. All of a sudden, after so much effort, you feel derailed and unsure of what to do next. So what to do to get back on track?

When you get derailed by too many projects

Additional projects are added to your responsibilities at work. In your enthusiasm, you add on more home chores like repairs and home renovation.

Use your task list wisely. If you are overwhelmed, make a list of all the responsibilities and tasks. Then assign these to time blocks for getting these started and completed. At home, take on no new responsibilities until you feel more in control. There are many project management apps that can help you organize your projects and time. 

 

When you get derailed by a lack of motivation

Lack of motivation can occur when you feel overwhelmed or lack purpose behind a project. You might start with a lot of interest and enthusiasm, and then those emotions wane.

Break projects into small steps to feel consistent success. When you see your success, it builds in motivation to continue. If you come to a point where you don’t remember or see the end goal, use a mind map to reconsider the outcome and what is important to you about the completion of the project. Bring in additional team members to add interest and motivation.  

When you get derailed by vacation

You have really enjoyed your time off, and now it is time to get back to work. There’s so much to do and you are not ready to roll.

Set up for success with a catch-up day. On the first day, you return, establish a no meeting policy. Set a time to catch up on email and connect with colleagues on projects. Use a task list continuously or start now to keep a list of all responsibilities. 

 

When you get derailed by “life happening”

“Life is happening!” That is when there is a new relationship, a loss of a family member, a job change, moving to a new home, or multiple circumstances happen simultaneously.

Self-care is the key to getting through situations. First, start with a good night’s rest and get support. Support can be meeting with a therapist or coach, seeking medical attention, adding a team member to your work group, or delegating to a paid helper. There are times that there is too much for us to handle. 

 

When you get derailed in general

You are a marvel at your task list, getting to the gym, and eating healthy. Then you stop.

Everyone gets derailed at some time. Don’t fret about it –  just do it (whatever that was) and start again!

Use These Schedules for Back to School Routines

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back to school routines, schedules and checklists

 

Families with ADHD need reliable and consistent routines and schedules. That applies to the parents and the kids with ADHD. Setting up the structure of the morning and evening with positive expectations and well-established schedules helps improve everyone’s balance and set the pace for the day. Here are suggested schedules to help your family back to school success.

 

Getting buy-in with your family

Start with a family meeting to gain momentum with your routines. Families intuitively know and feel the benefits. Get official buy -in with a conversation highlighting that routines preclude making every decision every day and therefore offer stress relief.  Making multiple decisions every day wears everyone out. Following the structure of routines helps achieve their goals, whether that is getting a good night’s rest, getting better grades, or having more time for games. With a schedule, everyone knows what to do and when to do it without nagging. The results are more of what everyone wants which is time together to have fun.

Next, move on to designing a schedule that works. Be realistic about what you can accomplish and the time it takes for tasks. While it is hard for those with ADHD to sense how long a task takes, give yourself time to get tasks done and a deadline to do this.

 

Writing out the morning schedule

Getting everyone ready and out the door on time is the priority in the morning.  Prepare as much as you can the night before using a landing strip for backpacks and setting a wake-up alarm. Avoid adding in extra tasks and emails in the morning. A simply written schedule should be:

7:00 wake up, take meds, wash face, get dressed

7:15 eat breakfast, pack lunch

7:30 grab backpack, head to car

Keep it simple with only the highlights of this routine. Post this routine where your family sees it and the point of use. For kiddos, that’s the bathroom mirror.

 

Write a checklist for the afternoon schedule

Afternoon schedules have more to do and require a checklist to be sure it is all accomplished.  There is homework, activities, and dinner together.  Establishing a set study routine eliminates the choice of what time to start. Hiring a homework helper to reinforce settling into homework time. Review what is expected during homework time to ensure completion. End the evening with fun.

4:00 Snack and chat

4:30 Homework time at dinner table, kitchen table or home office alongside you

6:00 Gym, music, scouts, or other activity

7:00 Dinner together

7:30 Clean up and prep lunches

8:00 Bath, books and bed

Adjust this checklist depending on your child’s age and stage. The flow of activities is the same. Parents of middle and high schoolers are more frequently limiting gaming time during the week. Set a time of day for technology to start and end, including turning off wifi. It’s easier for you as a parent to enforce these times with this routine. Post this checklist at the family command center for everyone to see it.

Dinner time together helps everyone stay connected. Work around activities and church to find time together each evening to sit and enjoy time together. Make dinner simple with cereal or sandwiches, kids cooking, or healthy takeaway dinner. Eating a meal together without technology keeps everyone connected. Try conversation starters like high and low, talking about the high points and low points of the day with your kids, or other conversation starters.

Wind down with a Bedtime Routine

Bedtime is crucial for those with ADHD.  For those with ADHD, it takes a sleep routine to fall asleep. Set a time to get ready for bed with extra time for quiet conversation with you. Encourage relaxation by turning off all blue light devices an hour before bedtime and placing these in the common charging spot. Use bath time as a wind-down mechanism with lavender bath salts. A cool, dark room with quiet music or a sound machine set the stage for sleep for kids and adults.

 

Keep routines going

Here are the tricks to routines – keep it, simple sweetie! Start with a small routine, and add that single step to another existing routine. Make it visual so that everyone can remember and see the steps for the routines.

Remember, routines keep going because you as know the value and power of routines. Routines can be re-started every week to stay consistent.  Don’t give up because on the first day or week the routines are not in place. It takes practice and the conviction you are a family who follows routines to keep these in place.

 

 

 

Getting Back into Work Mode

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getting back into workflow

 

This summer record numbers of people are taking time off and going on vacation. Being away has so much value in helping us reset. However, getting back into the workflow can be difficult after vacation. Check out these strategies to help you transition back to work more quickly.

 

Write vacation preparation notes

Set yourself up for success with notes before you leave. Additional notes on the next steps help you catch up upon return. Share these notes with colleagues who are on your team.

 

Schedule no meetings the first day back

Give yourself time to go through email, check your schedule and set priorities the first day after vacation. By prioritizing getting organized you are ready to get back into the workflow. From my own experience, you are not ready to get back to full speed that first day. Pace yourself with having a buffer day.

 

Review your planner and your tasks to prioritize

Returning from travel, at work, you are likely in the middle of many projects and at home you definitely need groceries. Review your planner to catch up on what is next for your planner. At home, check in with what is needed immediately to run smoothly. Taking this review time gives you a sense of direction and where to spend your time first.

 

Set a reasonable schedule for the week of your return

Don’t overdo and overbook your first week back. Diving back into a full schedule seems smart because you have been away. Give yourself ample self-care and breaks during the first week back with extra time for walks, preparation for each day, and lots of hydration.

 

Set aside time to work through email

Email is the most difficult part of the return to work. Having a plan helps you gain control. Be sure to set your out-of-office reminder so that your colleagues know you are not going to respond until you return. Then, use divide your time to work through email when you return. Set aside a time block for a high-level review of email and learn what is urgent. You can respond to this quickly. Then, set another time block to calendar dates, add information to projects, and work through what has come in while you were away. By creating two segments for your email, you can feel more in charge and be more responsive.

 

Return to routines quickly

Unpack your luggage, order groceries, start laundry and get to bed on time. Returning to your routines quickly helps you ramp up your productivity.

 

Give yourself grace throughout the first week back to work. It is going to take time to regain momentum. Having these strategies will help you be proactive about your workflow after your time away.