Embrace a Fresh Start This Fall: Why Under-committing to Activities Leads to Balance and Peace of Mind

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under-committing

 

Fall brings a whirlwind of activities for school,  home, church, and other areas. You may already be feeling a bit anxious about all that coming up. This fall set the stage for more intentional living by reassessing commitments and having less to do. Now is the time for understanding overcommitment and the negative impacts of overcommitting on mental health and productivity.

 

Signs of overcommitment

There are many signs that you are overcommitting. For you, looking at your calendar you see no white space. There are no time blocks for preparation for meetings. You feel irritable attending a meeting because you have too much to do. Your home has become a drop zone, with many filled bags waiting for items to be put away. For your kiddos, they are resistant to activities because they are tired. Their rooms have become cluttered. They go to bed late because activities fill their days to the brim.  Overcommitment has an impact on mental health and getting stuff done.

 

Benefits of under-committing

To begin to reassess,  you must first know the benefits of this change. The most beneficial aspect of under-committing is the increase in focus and well-being. With less to do on any day, there is always less stress. You will feel more balanced by having time to do what you love, as well as what you are required to do. You will be able to concentrate more without having to get so much completed. Having a better work-life balance comes from having unscheduled time. Jot down a few of your reasons for why to undercommit this year and clear out your schedule.

 

Getting started

First, it is best to evaluate your current commitments.  What are the essential and non-essential activities you are committed to? What is essential to your values? Are your commitments supporting what you know to be best for you and your family? What is the true impact and what is required? Are your commitments bringing in funds that support your family’s values? Answering these questions allows you to weigh in on your commitments. Write out this list and prioritize. There are no right or wrong answers, but you will know what is best for you and your family.  There are many great activities but at times we have to stagger commitments to keep our time better balanced.

 

Strategies for under committing

Now that you have evaluated and prioritized your commitments, it is time to learn and reinforce what you know to be true about commitments. Now that you are working toward your priorities, it is time for you to set boundaries for yourself. It is easy to over-commit without this. A boundary for yourself might be creating rules about how many activities you or your kiddos are in at any given time. For some families that is one sport for each kiddo for each season. Other parents choose to take a large volunteer role instead of many small commitments. You know best what works for yourself and your family. Find a rule that works well for saying “no” such as, “I have to check my calendar first.” Creating a pause before saying yes helps you assess. Your goal is a realistic, manageable schedule that incorporates self-care.

 

Maintaining balance

The key to consistent balance is regularly assessing and re-assessing commitments. As commitments change throughout the year, be mindful of your new rules for commitment. It is crucial to your schedule to regularly assess your commitments in order to stay in balance. Assess your commitments during your weekly planning time.

 

Take time before the fall to be mindful of this year’s commitments. You will have more joy in the responsibilities you choose by prioritizing and under-committing.

 

Baby Steps for Better Time Management

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Time awareness is a familiar challenge for those with ADHD. Often referred to as time blindness,  people have difficulty knowing how long a task will take, knowing how much time to allocate for transitions such as leaving for an appointment to be on time, or how long they are spending on a task. Start with baby steps in creating more time awareness to begin better time management.

 

Build data

Learn about time by building data about your use of time. Start by using a clock to time the duration of tasks at home like getting ready in the morning, winding down in the evening, or unloading the dishwasher. Clock tasks at work such as reading and responding to emails or completing a report. You are better prepared for setting up time blocks with this information.

Analyze patterns in your day to learn about your personal productivity. Learning your chronotype, when you work best during the day, helps you know when to schedule your tasks and projects. Focus on the positive and assess the situation, time, or location that prompted your success.

 

Externalize time

Using an external tool to help you become more time makes it easier to see or feel time. Add an analog clock in spots where time is lost. This type of clock, with arms that move, offers a visual reminder of time. Use a timer to hear the beginning, duration, and end of an allocated time. Set alarms and reminders to start and complete tasks. Each of these external time managers helps keep you on track.

Calendars are one of the best external tools for time management. With a place for dates, appointments, and tasks, you no longer have to remember this information. Update your calendar as information comes in and refer to your calendar all day throughout the day. Widgets make your calendar visible on the locked screen of your devices.

There are many more digital tools to help you on your journey, such as Alexa and Siri!

 

Get organized

Because of poor working memory, items can get misplaced and delay you. Be sure to have a “place for everything and everything in its place” to save time when you are ready to start a project or leave your home or office.  Have a reset time to replace items into their spots each week. Proactively being organized gives you the best opportunity to make use of the time you have.

Organize your calendar and reminders with cloud-based project management tools such as Click Up, Trello, and Asana. By integrating these, you are automating your time and task management.

 

 

Choose one of these baby steps to help you with your time awareness. Remember that time awareness is a work in progress and that you are learning as you progress.

The Power of the Pause to Support Your Goals

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I often write about the power of a pause. A pause is an intentional stop between any time frame. It can be helpful when an emotionally reactive situation is about to occur or when you feel overwhelmed. Here are other situations where a pause can help you find clarity and help you set your goals.

 

Pause between seasons

Seasons are a natural transition for us each year. As the environment changes temperature, external elements unfold to move us forward. Those seasonal transitions are also a good time to evaluate your goals. This is instead of an annual assessment, think about a 90-day pause and assessment. Questions you can ask yourself as you pause are:

  • What worked?
  • What happened to make this work?
  • What’s next?

These reflections give you an opportunity to course-correct or amplify your efforts.

Pause when there are life transitions

Life transitions, such as moving, job changes, or family losses can be happy or sad. We may want to barrel through and get to the other side of that transition. A pause can help all types of support. It can be with emotional support therapy or coaching. Addressing your emotions and finding additional support can offer clarity and move you forward. You can add to your team knowing the support you need. A bigger team might include a cleaning person at home,

Initiate a strategic pause

An intentional strategic pause helps you at home and at work. Strategic meetings offer clarity in all forms. A family board meeting or annual summit with time together, away from home, talking about family values, connects families with communication and cohesiveness. Your business hosts an annual strategic planning meeting to interpret data from last year and know the next steps.

 

Pause for self-care

More people are speaking about their needs for a pause. If you have been moving at warp speed or feeling out of sorts because of the speed of life, here is permission for you to speak what you need when you need it. “Slowing down before jumping to action can set you on a much more meaningful path to action.” You will be all the better for responding in a way that is authentic to you and your values.

 

Here is your first step to empowering your pause. That is knowing when a pause is valuable for you. I encourage you to take a few minutes now and jot a few ideas down.

Ways to Thrive During the Especially Busy Month of May

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Ways to thrive

 

The beginning of this year ushered in especially busy times. We are heading into the month of May with celebrations, graduations, and special occasions. Like Thanksgiving and the holidays, we have more to do. It is easy to get overwhelmed by all there is happening. There are many ways to thrive and be specially organized during extremely busy times.

 

Your planner is your road map.

Your planner is your most important trusted tool for being proactive in busy times. Keep your planner up to date as details come in about family celebrations and special events. Look ahead to the upcoming week and be proactive about planning for the weeks ahead. Each day prioritize a list of your three most important tasks to keep on track. Use a checklist to help with tasks and deadlines. Make notes, make lists, and set time blocks to get stuff done. Set a weekly planning time to be sure you are progressing in all areas.

 

Do your best to maintain self-care routines.

Taking care of yourself helps you do your best. Do the best you can to keep consistent wake-up and going-to-bed times. Drink lots of water to hydrate, get outside for sunshine, and walk as much as you can. Stay true to your exercise routine. Self-care will be your steady guide during busy, fun, crazy times.

 

Celebrate and be in the moment.

Moments we cherish happen when we steer clear of distractions. Stepping away from work, and being in the moment, gives us rare opportunities to connect. Celebrate every small win with gratitude. Share the joy with a handwritten card or special conversation. These moments build lifelong memories.

 

Build a bigger team

Being the party planner doesn’t mean you have to miss the fun. Ask for and accept help in all ways and forms. Teens can build a playlist and set up music, attendees can put up and stack chairs, and catering comes in all forms. Have groceries, treats, and party supplies delivered. Look around for ways to make everything easy for you and find support to get stuff done.

 

Being organized brings you joy during these bustling times. Never miss a minute of fun with these ways to thrive when especially busy.

Happy Collaborations

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Happy project collaboration

 

Did you know that individuals who work in collaborative settings at work are more than 50% more effective at completing tasks than those who work independently? There is great research that suggests that working collaboratively and collectively leads to better on-the-job performance rates, according to a Stanford study. In addition,  those who collaborated were 64% more likely to stick to their assigned tasks than their solitary peers. That is great evidence for creating a structure for easy collaboration!

Creating a collaborative environment

A collaborative environment brings the best of all skills and efforts to a project. For you, you must first recognize and be confident in your own abilities, skills, and experience. Also, you and all the collaborators must be there for a win-win for everyone on the team. Have a clear and specific agreement on expectations and roles so that everyone can contribute and communicate effectively. Be sure that all parties are open to positive feedback as needed. These are the best practices for collaboration.

 

Set common work agreements

Start your project with work agreements about communication, roles, and expectations. I recently started a new project in collaboration with three team members. We worked together on different projects and knew each other’s strengths. What we needed first was to set up common work agreements with guidelines for roles, which we allocated by strengths. Then, we mapped out communication and project management for the course of the project. Next, we wanted to set expectations on when we worked, how we communicated, and when we communicated. During those first weeks, we tested our system of a set meeting schedule, email requirements of who to copy when, and documentation hosted on google drive. Each week we have tweaked out system. The initial investment in communication paid off well.

 

Choose easy to use collaboration tools.

There are so many options for collaboration tools. Most require a little learning to ramp up. Choose collaboration tools that are easy to use. Everyone has a favorite tool, while some people have tools established by their workplace.

 

Establish routine meetings that fuel momentum

Establish meetings that assist moving the needle forward and steering the project. For many of us, that is a weekly meeting with a specific agenda. That agenda includes updates on the project and new information for momentum. Host your meeting at a time what works well for everyone’s productivity, however gives opportunity for real work to be done throughout the week. Always be sure everyone has the opportunity to provide input.

 

Share feedback and successes

Give a shout out to those who are doing work that is insightful and above and beyond. There is not enough celebration for what is going well. When correction and redirection is needed, be specific about what is not working. Take time to chat with a team member who needs to share more about the work itself.

 

Every project has bumps in the road. Working as a team helps you overcome these challenges together and finish up strong. If you are unsure if collaborations works for you, look for a team member who has the qualities you need to finish up a project.

 

 

 

 

 

Prioritizing What’s Important to You

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napo2023

 

I love to learn! Each year I give myself the gift of professional development. This week I am at NAPO 2023 Summit, the annual conference for our professional association and industry. I prioritize what is important to me which is learning with my peers for the benefit of my clients. Pictured with me here are NAPO Summit work team including Mimi Brown, keynote speaker for our Summit.

 

Know what is important to you

Education brings me joy. It is easy for me to know this is important for me. How do you know what is important to you? Think about what brings you joy.

 

Make it happen

  • No matter what date, there will always be conflicts in scheduling. We have to make choices. I choose to make this happen by writing this on my planner well in advance. I share this love of learning with clients who know I will be away at this time. You can make your priority happen by writing it in your planner.
  • I have learned that we need resources to make our priorities happen. I save funds each year for this opportunity. I allocate appropriate resources to travel, meals, and registration. Make your priority happen by using your resources wisely.
  • Sharing what I love with those I love helps me prioritize. They are my cheerleaders and encourage me to follow my path.

 

I encourage each of you to write a list of your three top priorities and make these happen!

 

 

 

How to Improve Motivation with Executive Function Challenges

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how to improve motivation with executive function challenges

 

Finding the motivation to start and finish a task can be difficult for all of us. Executive function involves processes that are essential for behavior regulation and impulsivity, time management and planning, and problem-solving and decision-making. Where there are Executive Function challenges for initiating, planning, organizing, prioritizing, and sustaining attention, motivation is a bigger factor. There are many reasons why getting started on tasks is difficult. Focusing on specific strategies helps improve motivation.

 

Difficulty initiating or getting started

When tasks pile up, getting started can feel overwhelming.

  • Break your tasks into baby steps or chunks. Work on starting just one of these chunks.
  • Remember that done is perfect. Perfectionism is often paralyzing. Know what the end of your project should look like to complete it.
  • Create an initiation “warm-up” strategy. That is a way to ramp up to get started. This can be getting on headphones for quiet work, moving to a new space with a clear desk, or gathering all your materials together.

 

Lack of motivation leads to poor planning and time management

You think a task will take five minutes, but overall it takes two hours. Lack of time awareness can deter motivation.

  • Use visual tools to create a workflow for any task or project. A dry-erase or paper calendar helps you plan out the steps.
  • Assign tasks to time blocks. This assignment indicates what needs to be accomplished and when to do that.
  • Plan with the end in mind. Start backward and assign times for completion.
  • Use an overflow day to catch up and finish a task or project. That day is open just to have extra time available.

 

Disorganization of materials and due dates

Projects need organization in order to proceed. If you have trouble organizing the materials, it is difficult to start.

  • Set a time daily to capture information in your planner. Use the end of the day to review email, text, or other communication to add dates to calendars.
  • Organize your materials in a way that you feel is easiest to access. For some, that means printing and placing it in a notebook or keeping digital files. Use consistent naming to keep your system easy to use.
  • Maintain your system by including time to get your materials updated and put away at the end of the project.

 

Clear priorities help motivation

When everything seems important is the time to establish clear priorities.

  • Make a list of your top 3- 5 priorities. Be sure that your tasks match up with these priorities. This will help you define how many projects are not on this list and may need to be eliminated.
  • Use a daily focus list to keep your daily priorities clear and easy to see.
  • Often there are two competing priorities simultaneously. You want to finish up your work for the day and have dinner at 6 pm. Giving yourself a boundary or rules to follow help you stay on track rather than decide at the moment.
  • Make a list of what you can delegate to help you do your best work.

 

Keep on keeping on with sustained attention

There is hyperfocus and not enough focus.

  • Limit distractions by silencing devices and blocking pop-ups. Use an internet blocker to stay on track.
  • Use the Pomodoro method of alternating work and break times to maximize attention.
  • Body doubling can help you stay tethered to your tasks. Invite another person to work in your space while you work on your project.
  • When your attention wanes, look for positive ways to gain traction with productivity. Take a walk, get some water, and re-assess your next steps.

 

Knowing your WHY can be the most important factor in motivation. If you feel your work is compelling or interesting, it is much easier to get started. Take a look at your assignment and see if you can make it more interesting by approaching it with curiosity.

 

 

Mastering Your Calendar and To-Do List

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Organizing your schedule and life doesn’t have to be complicated. With a trusted tool, you can take back control of your life and have more time for the things you enjoy!

For years I have worked with clients on mastering their calendars and to-do lists! I wanted to share with you a new product created by me to help you make time for what’s important to you.

  • This combination of monthly and weekly planners and to-do lists gives you the opportunity to craft your own calendar system that works best for you. You’ll also receive a checklist for getting started with the options to craft your own system.
  • Using the printable weekly and monthly undated pages, perpetual pages, and uncategorized pages for task lists, you’ll be empowered to process your schedule and integrate your goals and tasks.
  • Sample schedules and task lists are included to help you manage your own calendar and tasks.
  • Craft your calendar to work for you!

You can see your plan, get it organized, be productive, and have time for self-care. Check this out here on Etsy!

Teaching your Teen Time Management

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teaching your teen time management

 

 

Your kids have known how to tell time since elementary school.  But even with this background, as teens, they are late, don’t get chores completed, and may turn in assignments late to school.  Time management is more than just knowing how to read a clock.  It’s a struggle for teens to know what to do and how to get things done with time management.

 

According to Psychology Today, time management is just one of the four most critical areas for teens today.  With the level of brain development, teens are not fully equipped for time management.  Because brain development continues into the twenties, teens benefit from our coaching them with time management through high school and college.  Teens are unsure of what to do first, how long it will take to complete, and how to get started.  Teen time management includes coaching in prioritizing, initiation and procrastination, and duration of a task or project.

 

Prioritizing

What’s important and should be done first? That’s a question not only teens struggle with.  Parents don’t always agree on this between themselves.  How do we know what’s most important? It can be a matter of focus for all of us.  However,  you can help your child make these decisions by helping them process what needs to be done.

  • Encourage your teen to write down their priorities. For most kids that includes school grades, friends, church, and activities. If there are too many priorities, too many sports, or too many extracurricular activities, you can coach them to understand just how much time it takes for each activity.
  • Grid out with your kids the time available and where their priorities fit on the grid. Time blocking works well because kids can see what they have to do and when they will be doing it. That includes time for self care like sleep too. Using a paper or digital planner makes time more visual.
  • Set aside time to plan. Weekly planning time with their planner each Sunday or Monday gives your teen time to acknowledge everything that is on their plate and also record due dates. With so much information coming in by text and social media, they need time to consolidate it all in one place.

 

Initiation and Procrastination

Getting started on a task can be the hardest part of any project. Also known as initiation, those with executive function challenges find planning engaging but getting started more difficult. Procrastination can be from fear, lack of skill, or lack of motivation.

  • Plan an initiation strategy. For many, the “warm-up” to the project is gathering the materials, reviewing the instructions, or checking online with others in the class. Creating your own “warm-up” strategy will help for all upcoming assignments.
  • Make it fun to get started.  Find an innovative way to start a project.  You can add in technology or a gadget, work with a partner, or create a new perspective on the project.
  • Schedule the time to start a project. At that time, use a timer, set for 15 minutes, to help you get started.
  • Brainstorm the costs of procrastination. What’s at stake? What will happen? What are the consequences of not getting started soon enough? Coach your student through this process to verbalize the costs.
  • Set up a compelling, organized environment.  A clear workspace, quiet or white noise, and easy to access school supplies make it easier to get started.

Duration

We don’t know how long it takes to get a specific task done. But we do know that we can guess and set a time on our calendar to get a task done.

  • Help your teen create routines that take just 5 minutes. Making their bed, placing laundry in the basket, and putting trash away are 3 small tasks that take less than 5 minutes altogether. Your teen might think these take much longer. Write out routines with only 3 steps so that your teen isn’t overwhelmed.
  • Create more time awareness with more analog clocks.  Clocks should be in all your spaces to be sure you are gauging your time.
  • Your teen can set a timer when they start a task. Clocking the time will help them know how long a task takes.
  • Break big projects or tasks into baby steps.  Map out small sections of a project, and assign a time and date to accomplish them.  Nothing seems as overwhelming when it’s broken into smaller chunks.

 

Transition time

Building in transition time helps your teen be on time. That is the time that is between activities and moving from place to place. Your teen may not allow enough time to get ready, get to school, or clock in for a job. Coach your teen on how much time it takes to drive from home to school, then set use a timer to realistically learn the amount of time it takes. Having sufficient transit time helps your tee feel more confident and less stressed.

 

Tools for time management

Planners

 

Focusing apps

 

On your smartphone

  • Clock with timer for getting started and timing how long a task takes
  • Pandora playlist for organizing or homework time
  • Notes for making lists
  • Reminders and more tech

 

It takes practice, practice, and practice to learn the skills of time management. Don’t get impatient with your teen about how long it takes.  Every experience is a learning opportunity here.

 

 

 

6 Habits that Productive People with ADHD Use to Get Stuff Done

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October is National ADHD Awareness Month.

To “celebrate” this month, I am sharing 4 very important habits for living your best life with ADHD

in 4 blog posts throughout the month.

We think that in order to be more productive we need a new app, digital tool or planner.  The role of habits is often overlooked as a way to get more stuff done. Habits are powerful productivity tools because these bridge the gap to getting started, creating a work flow or finishing up your tasks and projects. Check out these habit productive people use to get stuff done.

 

Write dates and tasks in a planner

Productive people use their planners with skill.  They write all the tasks and dates in their planners to be sure they are accountable for their work. By making it a habit to write stuff down, they are able to work on deep work without having to remember all the details.

 

Work as a team

Team work makes the dream work. Together everyone achieves more. Working as a team, productive people do what they do best and delegate the rest. They are accountable to each other in accomplishing assignments because everyone relies on each other.

 

Get organized just good enough

Productive people organize papers, digital files, and emails just good enough to get your work accomplished.  Being overly organized with complicated systems or not organized enough with distractions can stall you out and prevent getting started. Productive people start a work session with a warm up of getting materials together to get stuff done.

 

Break tasks and projects into manageable chunks

It is overwhelming to see so many tasks and projects ahead, especially if there is a lot do for one project. Productive people break tasks and projects into manageable chunks. They act on one task or step at a time to keep moving forward with work.

 

Set up time blocks for email and administrative tasks

Email becomes a distraction as much as social media.  Administrative tasks are boring and can be neglected.  Productive people set a time block for these tasks throughout the day and week.  They check email just often enough and work from the Two Minute Rule (If the task takes less than two minutes, do it.) Setting up time blocks keeps you from getting distracted and allocates time for what might be missed.

 

Prioritize every list

Lists grow and grow. Productive people know that every list requires prioritizing. That is they choose the three Most Important Tasks each week. They limit the number to three tasks that align with their Quarterly Objectives. Some projects on the list  also move to the “Parking Lot,” waiting for a better time to begin or determine importance. Productive people know that not everything can be done at the same time.

 

Use one of these tips productive people use this week. See how much more productive you can be!